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Role of in-laws:question

2005-03-09

Name: w i have a question for all of you all esp VD, augustborn, julyborn....
my in laws are ok people. only a few times i have heard some uncalled for things from my ils. and i am generally regarded as a good dil. my elder cosister is a dominating type. she will fight,get angry,get her word followed by all the members. so compared to her i am good. even if i dont agree with something i usually dont voice my opinion for the fear that i will get the tag of bad dil. now we are in uk. but when we go back, i don't want to live with his parents.
is it ok for me to bea little diplomatic with my husband? like be good to him always, dont mind his faults, in short be the perfect wife, so that in future if i ever have problems with ils and want to say something to them, he will not think me bad and support me?like he can say someday that u r always nice. like i want to win over his love and trust that i can never do wrong? any tips for this also. like how to do this.

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i have a question for all of you all esp VD, augustborn, julyborn....
my in laws are ok people. only a few times i have heard some uncalled for things from my ils. and i am generally regarded as a good dil. my elder cosister is a dominating type. she will fight,get angry,get her word followed by all the members. so compared to her i am good. even if i dont agree with something i usually dont voice my opinion for the fear that i will get the tag of bad dil. now we are in uk. but when we go back, i don't want to live with his parents.
is it ok for me to bea little diplomatic with my husband? like be good to him always, dont mind his faults, in short be the perfect wife, so that in future if i ever have problems with ils and want to say something to them, he will not think me bad and support me?like he can say someday that u r always nice. like i want to win over his love and trust that i can never do wrong? any tips for this also. like how to do this. vd replied. I believe if you are in good terms with them, it is good for you. But if you are hurt and can not behave nicely, then faking might be difficult too. Either you can be good or you can't. After all you are a human being too, I am not sure how easy is it for you to pretend to be good, when you are hurt.

My suggestion is to be JUST YOURSELF. There is no point competing with your co-sis whether she is bad bahu or not. You have a seperate identity and maintain that.

At the end of the day- how does the tag matter? It is happiness that matters, your relation with your husband is that matters.

tejmom replied. its ok that you want to have privacy. its your right too. girls are also born the same way as boys but we leave our parents and live in a new house. but you said that yYOU WANT TO BE NICE TO YOUR HUSBAND EVEN IF HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG SO THAT HE WILL SUPPORT YOU LATER. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU. HE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR POLITENESS AND YOU WILL FACE MORE PROBLEMS. EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE WILL SIT ON YOUR HEAD AND LIFE WILL BECOME HELL. DONT THINK GUYS WILL SUPPORT YOU SO EASILY WHEN IT COMES TO PARENT'S ISSUE. ACT NORMAL. IF U WANT TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR INLAWS SAY THAT TO YOUR HUSBAND POLITELY BUT IN A V.DETERMINED TONE.

2005-03-10

Name: vd
Subject:

be yourself

I believe if you are in good terms with them, it is good for you. But if you are hurt and can not behave nicely, then faking might be difficult too. Either you can be good or you can't. After all you are a human being too, I am not sure how easy is it for you to pretend to be good, when you are hurt.

My suggestion is to be JUST YOURSELF. There is no point competing with your co-sis whether she is bad bahu or not. You have a seperate identity and maintain that.

At the end of the day- how does the tag matter? It is happiness that matters, your relation with your husband is that matters.

2005-03-10

Name: tejmom
Subject:

not that easy

its ok that you want to have privacy. its your right too. girls are also born the same way as boys but we leave our parents and live in a new house. but you said that yYOU WANT TO BE NICE TO YOUR HUSBAND EVEN IF HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG SO THAT HE WILL SUPPORT YOU LATER. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU. HE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR POLITENESS AND YOU WILL FACE MORE PROBLEMS. EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE WILL SIT ON YOUR HEAD AND LIFE WILL BECOME HELL. DONT THINK GUYS WILL SUPPORT YOU SO EASILY WHEN IT COMES TO PARENT'S ISSUE. ACT NORMAL. IF U WANT TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR INLAWS SAY THAT TO YOUR HUSBAND POLITELY BUT IN A V.DETERMINED TONE.

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