Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello,
I am blessed to have 3 healthy children. My husband is a quiet man. He is a good husband and father.

But...
his parents have made me upset.

My three children are very beautiful to me...afterall, I am looking at them through a mother's eyes...but, they are nice looking kids.

Of my three children, all are different skin complexions...just like in my family, it was three of us.

My eldest child is very fair and my IN laws allow her to do whatever she wants, she gets sassy to me after spending a day with them. Everyone favors her over the rest of the entire family...

My 2nd child is freckled and has redish colored hair and she is always in trouble...they say she is a hard headed girl. They have made comments about if that was even their son's child, even though she looks just like them, except the hair and freckles.

My 3rd child is a honey color and she is the most gentle and sweet natured girl, she is given the most attention. They let her have her way. They buy her too much sweets, but I would not mind if they gave all the girls the sweets.

In other words, my freckled daughter is treated bad. I don't know what to do. This could begin giving my daughter a complex.

It makes me hurt inside.
What shall I say or do.
I want to be careful of my words as I cannot take them back.

My girls are ages 9, 7, and 5.
god bless replied. First of all, u should be happy that u were blessed with three wonderful girls. God has been very kind and the girls are lucky too that they have a thoughtful mother like you. I have one daughter and expecting my second baby. Though my family wants a boy now, I would be more than happy with another girl as I feel daugthers are mothers'pride and how u bring up is ur priority and ur decision. My mil has always interfered and tried to buy my daughter's affection by giving her sweets and junk food behind my back as I don't like giving her such food before dinner time. This is not as serious as ur situation, however, with my persistent behaviour, I have told my husband how I feel about certain things that bother me regarding in laws behaviour towards my daughter, good or bad and made him come on my side, afterall it is his child in question too. Then when the situation arises again I remind my husband and he takes a stand with his family and tells them how we think about it. If u work on this issue as a team with ur husband, I'm sure he would support u and help u deal with it before it goes out of control. Whenver u see that any of ur child is being neglected, u go protect her and remind her of how much u love her and would always do. I feel no matter what the world says or does, what ur mother and father think of u makes the most impact on child's mind. Your 7 yr old is still young and I'm sure with ur loving protective nature, she will learn to love herself rather than pity herself. Don't over protect her but balance out the situation and make her feel proud of how she is, what she is good at etc. Encourage her to take a hobby up she enjoys, music, dance etc and let her mind be on better things to get bothered by other things instead.
All the best.