Raising preteens is
the toughest phase of parenting. Learn ways to make your preteen feel secure
and safe while dealing with the preteens stage.
Many a times it is heard that being a parent of a preteen, is perhaps one of
the most nightmarish experiences on earth. But it is just a belief and may be a
reality for some parents, but the condition does not necessarily have to be
same for everyone.
On some occasions, the preteen has had a difficult time that is
perhaps attributed to a chain or a certain event, on other occasions, the
environment is responsible for making the child behave erratically. Whatever the case is,
there is always a solution, and a potent one, once you are able to identify the
cause and deal with it in the desired manner. You simply need to be committed
in your effort in helping the preteen come out of the difficult phase.
What is the Difficulty
Most parents complain that managing and dealing with the
preteens is difficult. Now, what are the factors that cause such commotion? It
needs to be noted that preteen is a natural stage of development of personality
and growth that has been real for every individual.
You need to understand that in this stage the child is actually
fighting with himself in identifying his own personality and discovering his individual existence. It
is a tug of war within him as he tries to figure out where exactly he stands
vis-a-vis the world around him. In this psychological tension, it is only but
natural that there will be some incoherence in his behaviour, that is, until he is done with the figuring
So What Should You Do?
Here is how you can make sure that you parent your preteen the right way.
Offer Love And Assurance Abundantly
Make the kid feel that he will be loved and
cared for, regardless of any factor. The preteen is such a stage where the kid
is quite confused about everything. He requires trust and love in his
relationship with you as a parent, repeatedly. So, offer him that. They need to
feel secure and safe in the environment that he is in.
Be a Patient Listener
Make sure that you give a patient hearing to
your preteen whenever he has something to say. Listen to his opinion and ideas
and show that you are acknowledging them. Ignoring or overlooking his opinions
will only make him or her feel unwanted and push him or her towards behaviours
where the child simply tries to be heard, by whatever means that is.
Be a Part of His Environment
You need to be aware of the details of your preteen’s activities by being a part of his environment, actively.
Be it some athletic event or a school musical, attend them and encourage them
in their pursuits and interests. This will help them build self confidence and
reassure them of your support in their life. For instance, as you attend a
parent teacher conference, you can discuss any issue that you feel is worth
discussing with the teacher and then come to a possible solution for it.
Be a Friend and a Partner
Always be encouraging towards your preteen. They need to talk or
discuss about umpteen issues that may appear to be inconsequential to an adult
mind, but from their point of view they are of great importance. So, respect
this fact and give them that opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings
with you without hesitation. You need to be friendly, casual and
Finally, apart from all these, you also need to note that the
awareness levels of the preteen are raised adequately. As mentioned earlier,
this is the stage where the kid is trying to discover his individuality and
simultaneously trying to adapt himself to the environment. So your part is more
of acting as a facilitator as you help the kid in adjusting himself through
adequate knowledge of what he is into. Being well informed will help him avert
a lot of problem situations with considerable ease, and of course, less trouble
How can parents deal with preteens? Why is it difficult to parent preteens? How
can parents bond with and make preteens feel secure and safe? Discuss here.