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You are here : home > Raising Children > Related Articles for Raising Children > Parenting Preteens

Parenting Preteens

Raising preteens is the toughest phase of parenting. Learn ways to make your preteen feel secure and safe while dealing with the preteens stage.


Many a times it is heard that being a parent of a preteen, is perhaps one of the most nightmarish experiences on earth. But it is just a belief and may be a reality for some parents, but the condition does not necessarily have to be same for everyone.

On some occasions, the preteen has had a difficult time that is perhaps attributed to a chain or a certain event, on other occasions, the environment is responsible for making the child behave erratically. Whatever the case is, there is always a solution, and a potent one, once you are able to identify the cause and deal with it in the desired manner. You simply need to be committed in your effort in helping the preteen come out of the difficult phase.


What is the Difficulty All About?

Most parents complain that managing and dealing with the preteens is difficult. Now, what are the factors that cause such commotion? It needs to be noted that preteen is a natural stage of development of personality and growth that has been real for every individual.

You need to understand that in this stage the child is actually fighting with himself in identifying his own personality and discovering his individual existence. It is a tug of war within him as he tries to figure out where exactly he stands vis-a-vis the world around him. In this psychological tension, it is only but natural that there will be some incoherence in his behaviour, that is, until he is done with the figuring out part.


So What Should You Do?

Here is how you can make sure that you parent your preteen the right way.


Offer Love And Assurance Abundantly

Make the kid feel that he will be loved and cared for, regardless of any factor. The preteen is such a stage where the kid is quite confused about everything. He requires trust and love in his relationship with you as a parent, repeatedly. So, offer him that. They need to feel secure and safe in the environment that he is in.


Be a Patient Listener

Make sure that you give a patient hearing to your preteen whenever he has something to say. Listen to his opinion and ideas and show that you are acknowledging them. Ignoring or overlooking his opinions will only make him or her feel unwanted and push him or her towards behaviours where the child simply tries to be heard, by whatever means that is.



Be a Part of His Environment

You need to be aware of the details of your preteen’s activities by being a part of his environment, actively. Be it some athletic event or a school musical, attend them and encourage them in their pursuits and interests. This will help them build self confidence and reassure them of your support in their life. For instance, as you attend a parent teacher conference, you can discuss any issue that you feel is worth discussing with the teacher and then come to a possible solution for it.


Be a Friend and a Partner

Always be encouraging towards your preteen. They need to talk or discuss about umpteen issues that may appear to be inconsequential to an adult mind, but from their point of view they are of great importance. So, respect this fact and give them that opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings with you without hesitation. You need to be friendly, casual and approachable. 

Finally, apart from all these, you also need to note that the awareness levels of the preteen are raised adequately. As mentioned earlier, this is the stage where the kid is trying to discover his individuality and simultaneously trying to adapt himself to the environment. So your part is more of acting as a facilitator as you help the kid in adjusting himself through adequate knowledge of what he is into. Being well informed will help him avert a lot of problem situations with considerable ease, and of course, less trouble for you!


How can parents deal with preteens? Why is it difficult to parent preteens? How can parents bond with and make preteens feel secure and safe? Discuss here.

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Genel.4 years ago
I really loved reading this article because i am at that phase of life where i need a constant support. I followed the advice and now i am glad to say that me and my preteen daughter are best friends......
 
 
 
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Macy.4 years ago
I agree with Sabrina, Really preteen kids are difficult to manage. My kid is always on mobile speaking to his friends. He does not share anything with me. Sometimes I feel that the distance between us has grown in recent years.
 
 
 
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Sabrina.4 years ago
Preteen is a really difficult phase. I have two preteen kids. They won't listen to me and we have our own share of arguments. I sometimes really fail to understand them.
 
 
 
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Discussion Forum - Recent Posts
How can parents deal with preteens? Why it is difficult parenting preteens? How can parents make preteens feel secure and safe?
Chitra Subramanium
My son is 11 years old. He is now always answering me back. He does not seem to listen to me. He always does the opposite of what i say. He has faith in his friends more than on me. I don' t know what...
Janaki
I agree with you. Your son is in the preteen stage. It is a difficult stage as a lot of changes are going on in your son. Find out the cause of his behaviour. Many times, we irritate the child such as...
Manoj Sahni
A preteen needs constant love and assurance from his parents. He is at a stage when he wants to be independent but also in need of parental love so he is more at a confused state of mind. Being a frie...
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