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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Related Articles for Raising Children > Different Strokes

Different Strokes

Love is: treating them differently. The first child, the older child, the boisterous child need to be treated as individuals.


  • "Among all internet-based gamers, women are the majority because they prefer less frenetic mobile gaming activities, like online trivia and card games. It's still the men who want to blast aliens, blow up things and take part in role-playing games, which are absent from the mobile gaming space."

  • "65% of mobile game revenue is driven by female wireless subscribers. They are the biggest driver of revenue for the Puzzle/Strategy category; comprising 72% of the total share of revenue."

This is one of the many millions of differences between men and women.

Then why should we treat our children any different?

We often claim we treat our children the same. We say we treat our sons and daughters the same. We have been taught not to compare our children, that each child is unique and will live their lives in their own unique way. It may be true that we love all children equally, but this doesn't mean we have to treat them identically.

No two children are the same

While a girl may coo over the pretty dress of a doll, a boy of the same age may try to understand how it is fastened. Children are different- and gender plays a big role.

You might fret that your two-year-old son is not speaking as much and as clearly as your daughter did at the age of two. But stop to think: what is he good at? Chances are, he may be better coordinated than your daughter was at the same age. Or far more diligent in breaking toys than she. Who knows, you might have the next Newton in your hands.

Children are temperamentally different

Many parents will notice very early on that their children behave very differently in the same situation, and that what "works" with one child doesn't with another. This difference in behavior and personality is called "temperament." While one may respond to discipline with acceptance, the other may want to test your limits. Punishing the first for a mistake made may be as counter productive as trying to reason with the other.

Parent's temperament play a role too

If the parent is an excitable, physical person, chances are he/she might get easily frustrated with a less expressive child.

Understanding your child's temperament as well as gender stereotypes is an important step in dealing with him/her. And an easy way to avoid negative labels (like 'girly' or 'cry-baby' to describe a sensitive boy).

Different strokes for different folks

Parents often try hard to "treat both children equally". While it may be nice, it may sometimes be hard. It may also sometimes be unfair.

An older child may be more ready to enjoy birthday parties. Does this mean you have to celebrate both children's birthdays equally? A toddler may have more fun if it is only dearly beloved grandparents attending his/ her birthday than a lot of noisy children taking over his house. You may have a cautious child, who takes time to open up to strangers and strange situations. Wouldn't you treat this child with more patience than a friendlier sibling?

Just like your children are different, so also you need to treat them differently. The same set of rules need not be applicable to all your children.

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Shimmer.5 years ago
keep posting such interesting articles . they are very helpful.
Unveda.5 years ago
thanks for the great article. i finally feeling understood how comparison creates problems in kids.
Karthik Ram.5 years ago
it is a good article. this passage was a real eye opener. Parents should not indulge in comparison.
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