A deeper impact gets created on the minds on children when they hear or listen to what parents are saying or talking about. Therefore, it is essential to be careful while talking in front of kids. Here are some things which parents should never say in front of kids.
Kids are like humanized sponges that soak up all the sights, sounds, smells and words around them and then try to learn from their experiences. The first people whom kids naturally look up to while forming these experiences are their parents and in their early years of childhood, kids follow the actions and words of their parents very closely. This is why there are certain things parents should never say in front of their kids as this just might lead kids into getting wrong ideas and learning the wrong lessons.
The most sedate of souls have indulged in gossip from time to time and it is just a harmless way of passing time for adults. However, children do not understand the complex web of society that their parents exist in and they tend to absorb each word and take them at face value. There are certain things that kids will understand only after reaching a certain age and till then keep them shielded from the shady world of half lies, rumours, malicious comments and wicked gossip.
Sentences that Include “You Can’t”
Any sentence that begins with “you can’t” is essentially a very degrading sentence as it tells kids that they are incapable or inefficient enough not to perform a certain act. These statements either break the child’s confidence or make him or her into a rebel who then tries to do the exact things that their parents have forbidden them to do.
Never tell your kids that “they can’t” achieve a certain goal or a positive aim even if it seems impossible. In case they are talking about something negative and contra beneficial then explain the reasons as to why those acts are not good in the first place and why they should not be done. When your kids understand the logic they will agree to your point of view.
Putting labels on events like “Santa Claus will only bring Christmas gifts if you are good all the time” or “Dolly is such a great girl she always does what her parents say” are absolute and impractical sentences. No human being can be good, bad or obedient all the time so do not set absolute standards for your children. Help them to recognise their flaws and correct them without letting it become an ego issue. Calling your children stupid or idiot will permanently damage their self esteem.
Abusive and expletives are now classified as verbal abuse and are a punishable offence. There are many side effects of using abusive words in front of kids and mental traumas, loss of confidence, fear are just some of them.
Even if you are not using abusive words at your children and are directing them to someone else within hearing range of your children; your kids are learning that it is okay to swear and use bad words at people in anger. These kinds of incidents only make your child discourteous and ill mannered.
Do not tell lies to your kid under any circumstance. Do not lie to protect your kids from pain, to save them from unpleasant situations or to escape from your own responsibilities. Do not even lie to other people when around kids as they can detect falseness from a mile away. Tell them truth in an age appropriate manner.
Lies when discovered only lead to a loss of trust and breach of faith. Telling the truth gently and then dealing with the consequences is a much better option. This is how your children will also learn to speak the truth unconditionally.
Now that you know the things parents should never say in front of kids you can modify your communication patterns accordingly.
What kind of things should parents avoid saying in front of kids? How to talk in front of kids? What are the effects of using foul language in front of kids? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team