Hitting or beating children is not the only way to correct their behaviour. It can negatively affect their growth and development. Read on to learn more about the harmful effects of hitting children.
Hitting a child to discipline or to punish has been quite common way of parenting since time immemorial. The main reason is that the parent sees immediate result or at least finds his ego satisfied. But have you ever thought what a child undergoes when she is hit? It does not matter whether you hit her hard or not so hard, but the effects are permanent especially in the minds of your child. Here are some points mentioned to help parents realise before it is too late.
1. Follow the Tradition
If you hit your child because your father or grandfather followed that same way of parenting and perhaps you think this is right, your child will also feel the same way and find that there is no harm in hitting to make someone understand her point.
2. Might is Right
Since parents are bigger and stronger, children feel that they can hit anyone who is younger and weaker than them. This is sending a complete wrong message to your children. They think that hitting is the right way to make people do what they think is right.
3. Affects Bonding and Relationship
It does not matter how special and strong your bonding with your child is, if you hit her, you are definitely going to damage it. Sometimes this may end up as permanent damage.
4. Lack of Trust and Relationship Problems
Children who are hit by parents face relationship problems later in life. The feel they cannot trust their parents and so they do not feel sure about trusting anyone else.
5. Feel Depressed
They feel depressed and sometimes even feel worthless and hopeless in life. This might give rise to suicidal tendencies in your child or may lead to some very harsh self-punishment.
6. Find Trouble Expressing Emotions
Since the child does not know what would happen if she expressed her actual emotions, she hesitates expressing them. Emotions get stuffed in and sometimes come out in unexpected ways. Some adults who have been hit by their parents during childhood, struggle with unexplained anxiety, anger or depression.
7. Lack of Self-Confidence
If a child is hit often, she never has the confidence in herself. She always remains fearful about doing something wrong.
8. Get Out of Control when Hitting
Many adults have been seen going out of control when hitting their children and result in much greater damages than they might have imagined. Sometimes parents get relief and this makes them become permanent abusers.
9. Children Have Psychological and Emotional Problems
Children who are hit during childhood grow up to become angry, resentful adults having different types of psychological and emotional problems.
10. Suffer From Mental Health Problems
Children who are hit are more likely to suffer from mental health problems in adulthood like anxiety, depression, substance abuse and are less likely to empathise with others or show norms of good behaviour.
Experts are of the opinion that if necessary, punishment should be age appropriate. When you are using physical punishment, you should be sure that it is really the need of the circumstances. As a parent, it is obvious you want to shape your children’s behaviour, but always keep in mind that there are more effective ways of getting the behaviour you want to see in your children.
Simply seeing you angry can often be frightening for your child. Therefore, for you there is no need to get physical. In fact, using your adult and mature brain you can easily come up with some fruitful option, a clever and non-abusive way of getting your child do what you want him to do. Coming up with better alternatives will not only make you better parent, but also create more sensitive and well-behaved kids.
What are ill effects of hitting children? How to avoid hitting children? What are the ways to punish children without hitting or beating them? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team