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Manners and Discipline Topics..

You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Punishment: Need for Restraint

Punishment: Need for Restraint

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It is very important to analyse the situation when kids commit any mistake before punishing them. Punishments should only be given to kids if they really deserve it. At the same time parents should follow other discipline strategies instead of punishing kids. Read on to learn how parents can avoid punishing kids.

Every child needs to be disciplined in order to behave in a manner acceptable to others and observe the defined limits of freedom. Sometimes punishment becomes unavoidable, when the child either breaks a rule or misbehaves. Parents can use the following guidelines to instill a sense of discipline in their child. It will also help them use punishment as a corrective method effectively as and when needed.

Consistency in Behaviour with Children

Parents need to observe consistency in their behaviour with children. Practicing overindulgence and overprotection alternating with extreme strictness and punishment is to be avoided. Contradictory opinions expressed by parents and grandparents would confuse the child and he would not realize the reason for being punished.

Warn Your Child before Punishing

Try to give one reminder or warning to the child before the child is actually punished and find out if this strategy works. Do not give threats if you don't intend to carry them out.

Punish Only When Your Child Really Deserves It

Do not punish your child for behaviour that may be part of his normal development such as occasional bedwetting, thumb sucking or tantrums.

Avoid Punishing for Accidental Mishaps

Do not punish your child for accidental mishaps. If your child drops a soft drink on the carpet, do not scold him but tell him to be more careful next time. Such encouragement will help the child in his learned responses.

Ignore Minor and Unimportant Incidents

Ignore minor and unimportant incidents, particularly if the child is young, such as sulking, tantrums and interruptions. Similarly, demands for small items should not be denied without appropriate consideration. Use of non-verbal communication such as good eye contact and firm denial is often all that is needed for minor misdeeds.

Avoid Physical Punishments

Physical punishments such as spanking, hitting, etc. are one of the most undesirable forms of punishments. Parents who have no control over their tempers could injure their children. Physical punishment makes the child more defiant and aggressive, rather than offering anysolution to the basic problem.

Use ‘Time-Out’ Punishment

Temporary 'time-out' punishment is one of the most effective disciplinary techniques. This involves isolating a child for a brief period of time. It provides a 'cool off' time, both for the parents and the child. He may be put in the corner of a room, or on a chair alone and the period should not last beyond 5 to 10 minutes.

Withdraw Child’s Privileges

Withdrawing a child 's privileges temporarily, such as not allowing him to watch his favourite serial on TV or delaying him for play activities can help the child to understand the results of his action. However, never withhold food or water from the child.

Avoid Severe or Prolonged Punishments

Never make the punishment severe or prolonged as it may lead to a feeling of insecurity, hostility and repression in your child. However, at the same time, the child must be made to realize that there would be some unpleasant consequences if he crosses acceptable limits of behaviour.

Once the punishment is over, see that your love and acceptance of the child gets through to him. Do not let the act of punishment become a power struggle between you and your child. Tell him that your response is to his undesirable behaviour and not against him as a person. This will ensure that you and your child continue to enjoy good emotional health for a healthy and happy childhood!

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akram.8 years ago
more punishment is more descipline
shelendra singh.8 years ago
punishments should be realised by the child. she should be understanding that punshishment may be tough next time, if the same mistakes are repeted.
KKA.8 years ago
if you don't teach your child to not have tantrums, sulk, of use his manners and choose to ignore these behaviours, you are asking for trouble! children are not stupid and they should not be allowed to get away with not using his manners or thrwoing unacceptable fits. interrupting anyone and not correcting them is a big no- no. no wonder we have a bunch of rude, unexcusable children today.
joanne.8 years ago
punishments is not really effective if you dont explain them the real problem is
anil kumar.8 years ago
punishment should be given to the child to realise the mistake done. a child becomes a man with or without punishment. but the charector developes thru gently tuning during childhood. almost all the misdeeds of a child can be corrected thru scolding or gestures. i am strongly against beating a child. that option should always be reminded to the child if they act wrongly so that they can correct themselves without experiencing it.if one beats the child often, they will not be afraid later as they know this is the maximum punishment they will get for their should be strict with the child only when it is called for. all the other times we should be friendly with the child. this will make the child to differenciate right and wrong.
dawn.8 years ago
although it hurts as parents to spank our children, it is very important to do so when deserved. the saying spare the rod, spoil the child is true. god says if we love our children we must use the rod to show them we love them. "he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" proverbs 13:24 now i'm not saying to beat our children but if we spank them when necessary and we do it out of love, our children will understand. we as parents must discipline out children, if we don't they will think we don't care or love them. look at our society when spanking was acceptable and look at it now. can anyone see a difference?
alicia.8 years ago
i dont think you should spank children over evrything they do you should talk to them and see the promblem
holi and jessie.8 years ago
i have children myself and spanking them isnt really necisarry no matter wot but all you young mas lay the law down abit more
Anupam & Gopa.8 years ago
punishment does not mean beating child, rather the child should be isolated from his/her beloved for a while for the misdeed.then she should try to avoid doing same misdeed next time to get attached with her beloved.
Stan.8 years ago
poland. bottom heals much faster than soul. therefore, a small spanking is much better than other forms of punishment (corner, closet etc)
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