Renting a womb is a boon for infertile couples
but for the surrogate mothers, it is a difficult preposition. Surrogate
mothers; who carry and nourish the baby for the nine months are bound to have
an emotional attachment with the baby.
They have to relinquish all the rights on the baby and this is a
sensitive issue. Read on to know how to make this process an easy one.
We are culturally accustomed to the process of conceiving,
carrying and delivering a baby. This is naturally followed by the promise of
care and commitment to nurture the baby into adulthood. So it is still
unconventional and a deviation from the accepted norm when a woman rents her
pregnant and gives up the baby following the delivery. It is believed that
a woman develops changeable degrees of attachment to the life that she is
nurturing within her.
There are two major determining factors in this regard:
age of the woman
attitude towards pregnancy
These two factors determine the manner in which she is able
to relinquish the child after birth. For example if the woman who is renting
her womb is in her late twenties or mid thirties believe that they have
completed building up her family and are found to be considerable less attached
to the baby they are carrying for any infertile
How to Ease Out the
There are legal or mutual contracts that are devised to
ensure that the woman renting her womb is compelled to give up the baby. The
fertility clinic or the surrogate agency which is looking after and monitoring
the pregnancy try to continuously remind the woman
that she is supposed to give up the baby
she is carrying.
They also discourage her to form any attachment with the
fetus. This is a counseling treatment that goes a long way to help the woman relinquish
the baby. It is also ensured that the baby is handed over to the commissioning
couple right after the birth.
This helps the surrogate to reconcile their maternal
thoughts and feelings. The aim should be to enable them to cognitively
restructure their emotions so that the process of relinquishing the baby
becomes much easier. The physicians and the counselors at the clinic ought to
help the woman attain a cognitively consonant mental state.
Social and Family
Support Is Important
There are certain stigmas attached to this process of
renting out wombs in almost every society across the world. There has not been
a good equivocal support for surrogacy which has actually led to the
intensification and existence of these stigmas. Counseling is very important
for the surrogate mother and she needs to be constantly reminded that she needs
to relinquish. Similarly the commissioning couple also needs to be assured that
there would be no interference from the side of the surrogate mother in the
upbringing of the child.
There is another aspect to this episode that can compound
the problems even further. The children of the woman who is renting her womb
might suffer from a depression out of the fear that they might also be
relinquished. There ought to be a good medical awareness and firm family
support that can ease out this process of surrogacy and relinquishment.
Chances of Exploitation
In a lot of instances it has been found that the woman who
is renting her womb requests the commissioning couple to be clear about the
origins of the child once the baby is grown up. They want to have this
assurance as a part of their contract as they too were clear with their spouses
and children that the baby would be relinquished soon after birth.
The commissioning couples agree to this but more often than
not it is found that just after the legal formalities are over, the baby and
the commissioning couple vanishes from the surrogate mother’s life. They end up
viewing this as a sort of emotional exploitation and betrayal of trust. It is
not easy to solve this problem as both the mothers have a genuine emotional
reason to validate their respective behavior.