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Confident Child Topics..

You are here : home > Confident Child > Inculcating Values > Losing Values?

Losing Values?

Every passing generation seems to get more and more Westernised. While this is not a bad thing, it's important not to lose sight of our Indian values.

As we turn more and more towards Westernisation, it's time to sit back and re-think our values. Youngsters today are exposed to western lifestyles to a much greater extent than the previous generation. Exposure to cable television has brought the typical American family into our living room, and slowly a new thought process starts invading our children's minds.

While this is not necessarily a bad thing, perhaps you should try and figure out what your priorities are. How important is your marriage and family to you? Does it take first preference, or do career and other such matters come first?

The west has shown a disturbing trend of late. The nuclear family no longer consists of the nuclear family as we know it. Stepparents, half-brothers and sisters, divorced couples and single parents are increasing in percentage to married couples with children living together - which makes up only 23.5 percent of all households!

Then there are those who feel there is nothing wrong in living together. After all, you are not hurting anyone, you are not committing a crime, so the 'society' which frowns upon such a lifestyle should just mind their own business. Couples live together for years and years without any plans of getting married. Why? Just in case someone better comes along?

Remember, there will always be someone better looking. Someone richer. Someone more intelligent. Someone wittier. Don't be surprised if, by the time our children grow up, living together as a couple outside of marriage becomes the norm. Is that what we want?

Again, what's the harm? Well, if living together culminates in marriage, everyone heaves a sigh of relief, but if it does not, and the couple has children and then part ways, that's not very nice is it? And if this becomes the norm, what will family life come to?

Why is marriage being taken increasingly more and more lightly? There used to be a time when the only reason people would get divorced would be in extreme cases - if one partner was abusing the other, horrific in-law problems or other such extreme cases.

True, there were moments of difficulty. It wasn't always smooth running. But at the end of the day when the couples sit back and look at their children and grand children, they can look at their family with a sense of pride. They remain loved and surrounded by family till they breath their last. Family life can be very satisfying, and often sticking through the rough patches is worth the pain and heartache. Of course, there are always exceptions, but riding through the rough patches together and sticking with each other will reap untold dividends in the long run.

So perhaps it's time to get back in touch with our culture, values and roots. It will be well worth it.

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Viren.8 years ago
really true, nowaday there is lot of generation gap between parents and younger genration. as soon they are married they want a sepration from the family. but what will be the end of it. everyone should relaise, this will bounce back with their children. one day they will become old and the same thing happened with them, then what????
Deepa.8 years ago
i think it is dangerous to automatically assume that people should remain together, not divorce no matter what. the article does concede that in examples of abuse, then perhaps it is better to part ways. but must things get to that level before it is considered "acceptable" to divorce? what if you have two people who do not respect each other, who make each other very very unhappy, who were married too young and upon insufficient knowledge of each other to really know who this person was... don't these people deserve a chance to be happy? do they have to wait until they have ruined their lives or ruined their children's lives (by providing for their children a very negative example of what a marriage is) or even wait until someone badly beats the other before divorce will be considered acceptable? why is it automatically considered a great thing just because two people who should never have been together stay together? i think about my parents who are deeply unhappy, and whose unhappiness has gotten to a point where they literally cannot stand to be in the same room as the other person, and yet they will not divorce because "society won't like it." need one always sacrifice the self for the sake of society which only looks at the surface anyway? before we go about praising one culture over another, and saying "isn't it good when people remain together," we should take a closer look at whether those people remain together for the right reasons, and how many lives (including their own) they might damage along the way.
Harish.8 years ago
does the article support that inspite of the problems faced by today's women they should continue to suffer???? everybody wants to be a part of a family, is a social one likes to live alone or be left out.but today's women are burdened with responsibilites and the men have not at all adjusted to this change, especially in india. working women are running whole day-doing job, coming home, cleaning, washing, feeding, looking after old and sick in-laws(continuously demanding and cribbing).still she is supposed to be happy, smiling and good to everybody???what is the author expecting???can he/she survive one such day and is easy to preach when you are not in the difficult situation.people preach a lot of things.only when they are stuck in that jam, great positive successful people (e.g. nafisa) commit suicide or are greatly depressed. yes, as far as possible, one should adjust but in extreme cases, such self-sacrifices dont lead to anything..only that person suffers and is expected to die.others preach and watch the fun and come with false condolences.
janet.8 years ago
i think that this article does not say that u must stay together even if u are unhappy, but the thing is that u may be unhappy for short periods of time, and u must not walk out at the first sign of trouble. marriage is hard work, it is not a bed of roses and many times things may seem bad but bad times are worth sticking through together.
sushma.8 years ago
i totally agree with janet.
it is definitely very important to first decide firmly what is it that you want in the end.
gk.8 years ago
the article is very good. we should have mix of indian culture and western culture. it is certainly very important to decide what is your top priority in your life? there will be always problems in everyones life but that should be the cause of separation unless there is a worst case ..
Jey.8 years ago
really true,this article not only explains the lifestyle of pepole now but also how future generation will be in another 10 years or so. eveyone should reliase this life is only once and family relationship is something very important given by god for all of us, so appreciate it and make the moments a memorable want, be a giudence and take thing praticlely, argeuements coems and goes but family is the want will there until the end.if there is no culture our kids will be all deserted without the past knowings thats makes to more divocers in the family.
Pooja.8 years ago
this article is very good...meaningful and worth reading. everyone individual must understand the importance of family and togetherness. its very important and one realizes that we are there for each other at all times. it makes a big difference!
Priya.8 years ago
how long are we going to act we are happy and stay together in name of culture and society? i am not favoring any culture here, but atleast people in west are don't live with double standards like our society. i have seen several unhappy indian couples who are totally opposite than each other and drag their entire life together in name of culture and are very very unhappy in life. our vedas says we get a human born after so many other borns and just to waste it like this? by fighting and shouting and insulting each other, can a married couple produce a good society or teach children values about a good marriage? even there are several abusive indian marriages where women is expected to suffer in name of culture. and when we talk about living with old people or inlaws, why sacrifice is expected from one side only? why only daughter in law and not on inlaws side? why should you adjust with people you don't respect you and treat you like an animal? isn't staying separate better than imposing your own thoughts on other person's life? in west, parents don't stay together after kids get married, but that doesn't mean kids don't take care of parents. infact, i feel like relations are more well maintained by staying separate and again, i don't expect my son or daughter in law to stay with me too.

western culture is not always bad and indian culture is not always good. there are pros and cons on both sides and we should teach our next generation to adapt pros of both cultures. we shall teach them to respect thyself and make them more confident.
S.S.8 years ago
just a point to add to the article.
the impression we indians get on tv about americans is sometimes incorrect and most times incomplete. for example, indian kids are happy to point to the freedoms that western kids are allowed. what they don't see is that most kid's in america get this freedom only if and when they totally support themseves financially or otherwise. they earn for themselves and spend a small part of this money on enjoying some of the freedom we see on tv. on the other hand, a majority of indian kids are happy to enjoy the benefits of living with their parents but at the same time expect the freedoms of these hard working independent kids in the west.
another point is that a lot of parents in the west have a great influence on a child's decision's, including important decision's such as education, marriage,'s not like all children here are left to be completeley independent.
and finally,
a lot of people in the west also take marriage and family values very seriously, and a lot of families stay together and are very close knit. in fact, this kind of arrangement is widely accepted as the best way to run a family,and when such an arrangement does not work out, it isn't an easy decision (in most cases) to terminate the mariage, breaking a marriage is not a trivial issue , even in the west.
the point im trying to make is very simple.
what you see on wester television shows about western way of life, is far from accurate. tv shows portray a very small section of society here, and most times a completely fictional society.
it will be silly of anyone to "ape the west" instead, we should take the best that both cultures have to offer.
for example, some of the independance that western families or in-laws allow their children, things like that.. one should be wise in making a choice as to what is best for your families happiness, and eventually , the preservation of your culture.
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