Do not take peer pressure lightly. Your teenager is at a time in his life when he doesnt know whether he is an adult or a child. Suddenly everybodys expectations seem to change. Nothing seems to be constant or predictable. He is trying to spread his wings, but is still scared to let go. In this time of confusion, the only people he feels he can identify with and who will empathize are his peers. He is desperate to belong as he seeks his identity. Your teenager is going to do many things that you dont agree with or approve of. However, if you make an issue of everything, he will just think that youre picking on him. What you need to do is turn a blind eye on the pierced bellybutton and the outlandish clothes. Concentrate on adhering strictly to curfews imposed on him and other serious issues like smoking, drinking, drug abuse, sex, etc. In this way, you maintain your credibility with him and he may even be more willing to listen because you havent had a fit because he dyed his hair blue. Adopt a democratic rather than an autocratic approach. If you are going to impose any rules, first talk to your teenager. See what he expects and try to reach some kind of middle ground when laying down the law. In this way, your teenager is a little more likely to toe the line as he himself has participated in drawing it. However, once the both of you have decided on the limits, they should be treated as if they were written in stone. Well, maybe not as inflexible as that, but he doesnt have to know that. Set your limits very clearly so that theres no room for argument and also specify the consequences of any transgressions. Once the ground rules have been laid, enforce them strictly so that they have some meaning. Remember that teenagers are human after all, and may be a little more fallible than most at this stage of their lives. There are bound to be times when peer pressure will rule. At such times, your teenager should feel that he could talk to you about it, expecting that you will understand, rather than doing things behind your back and maybe worsening the situation. To put it more simply, he should know that he can come to you when he is in a jam and even though you may give him the firing of a lifetime, ultimately you are on his side. Identify another teenager with a good sense of values in your childs social circle and subtly encourage their friendship. After all, two is always better than one when it comes to withstanding peer pressure. Point out role models in real life and in books and films who have dared to be different and achieved something. At this stage your teenager is very unsure about the way he looks, about what people think of him, and about where his life is going in general. He is not going to think of you as a friend if you constantly criticize and berate him. Take the trouble to praise him for his accomplishments or just for being good. This will make him feel that you too are on his side and his peer group will have less of a hold on him.
Do not take peer pressure lightly. Your teenager is at a time in his life when he doesn't know whether he is an adult or a child. Suddenly everybody's expectations seem to change. Nothing seems to be constant or predictable. He is trying to spread his wings, but is still scared to let go. In this time of confusion, the only people he feels he can identify with and who will empathize are his peers. He is desperate to belong as he seeks his identity.
Your teenager is going to do many things that you don't agree with or approve of. However, if you make an issue of everything, he will just think that you're picking on him. What you need to do is turn a blind eye on the pierced bellybutton and the outlandish clothes. Concentrate on adhering strictly to curfews imposed on him and other serious issues like smoking, drinking, drug abuse, sex, etc. In this way, you maintain your credibility with him and he may even be more willing to listen because you haven't had a fit because he dyed his hair blue.
Adopt a democratic rather than an autocratic approach. If you are going to impose any rules, first talk to your teenager. See what he expects and try to reach some kind of middle ground when laying down the law. In this way, your teenager is a little more likely to toe the line as he himself has participated in drawing it.
However, once the both of you have decided on the limits, they should be treated as if they were written in stone. Well, maybe not as inflexible as that, but he doesn't have to know that. Set your limits very clearly so that there's no room for argument and also specify the consequences of any transgressions. Once the ground rules have been laid, enforce them strictly so that they have some meaning.
Remember that teenagers are human after all, and may be a little more fallible than most at this stage of their lives. There are bound to be times when peer pressure will rule. At such times, your teenager should feel that he could talk to you about it, expecting that you will understand, rather than doing things behind your back and maybe worsening the situation. To put it more simply, he should know that he can come to you when he is in a jam and even though you may give him the firing of a lifetime, ultimately you are on his side.
Identify another teenager with a good sense of values in your child's social circle and subtly encourage their friendship. After all, two is always better than one when it comes to withstanding peer pressure.
Point out role models in real life and in books and films who have dared to be different and achieved something.
At this stage your teenager is very unsure about the way he looks, about what people think of him, and about where his life is going in general. He is not going to think of you as a friend if you constantly criticize and berate him. Take the trouble to praise him for his accomplishments or just for being 'good.' This will make him feel that you too are on his side and his peer group will have less of a hold on him.
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- The Indiaparenting Team
Parents should get to know the friends of their kids. try to do this in a subtle manner, doing such, you'll know your child's friends better and have an idea what type of people these friends are.
Encourage and support your child in pursuit of positive activities that will more likely have a positive influence on him. By this the kid will not have much of idle time so less time spent with peers with negative influences.
The problem with teenage drug abuse often starts with a child not being able to fight off peer pressure. Kids and drugs are just two of the challenging issues that you may need to tackle yourself as a parent
