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Role of in-laws:gifts to india

2005-02-06

Name: vd hi friends

Imagine how much money and time we spend on taking gifts for rishtedaar. ANd never do the mistake of asking them. they will never say no.

last time, i made sure, i did not carry a single gift. in india, no body give gifts every year. so i decided not a single gift and when i met them, I gave them a box of sweets as is customary in india. The END to the story.

SAY NO, we ourselves give them a reason. Please do not be afraid of log kya kahenge. Even if you buy them a palace, they will say bad things about you.

so this time i tried this. dont increase others expectation or make a budget.

some of us did it. it is not so difficult. Let them do drama, we are not earning for them.

let me have your thoughts.

Subscribe to this conversation Reply Anonymously

hi friends

Imagine how much money and time we spend on taking gifts for rishtedaar. ANd never do the mistake of asking them. they will never say no.

last time, i made sure, i did not carry a single gift. in india, no body give gifts every year. so i decided not a single gift and when i met them, I gave them a box of sweets as is customary in india. The END to the story.

SAY NO, we ourselves give them a reason. Please do not be afraid of log kya kahenge. Even if you buy them a palace, they will say bad things about you.

so this time i tried this. dont increase others expectation or make a budget.

some of us did it. it is not so difficult. Let them do drama, we are not earning for them.

let me have your thoughts. b replied. You know augustborn it’s so weird when we take presents for our relatives and they discriminate that whether their son got it or their dils. On my last trip to my in-laws place, I took some nice shirts for my FIL and a pair of nigh gowns for my MIL.
I don't know much she liked the things, but her first question was whether you got it or my son got it. I was very shocked to hear. Her son and I both share the same roof we don’t even have a separate bank account but my MIL still discriminates the things have been bought by her son or me. Her son (my hubby) doesn’t even bother to take a small piece of paper for her; I am the one who buys stuff for his family. Actually he hardly cares about anyone. Sometimes I go on my own for shopping and when I get stuff I just show him I bought this for your sister/brother or mom/dad. He doesn’t even give a second look. Now you only suggest how to convince my MIL that whatever presents she gets it’s her dil’s courtesy not her son’s. augustborn replied. I have personally stopped taking gifts for my relatives. I generally take a dry-fruit box whenever I visit relatives.
I only buy gifts for my parents, siblings, MIL and FIL.
Infact, I have stopped buying gifts for my SILs. I came to know that they badmouth about me and the gifts I bring them sayings things like,\";They are worthwhile to be even touched.\"; Well, if my gifts are not good enough for them, then they needn't get them.
Anyways, I still take gifts(even when I am here in US on an official visit) for their kids(dont want to drag small children in all this mess)and it makes me smile when their kids say,\";Yeh mami ne laya hai.\"; and they correct them by saying,\";Nahi bolo yeh mama ne laya hai.\"; ...haha..especially since 'mama' was not on that trip also...:)

augustborn replied. I had come to US on an official visit last time and didnt have time to do eloborate shopping so thought of buying candy for everyone. Ended up buying candy for $200 at walmart...the lady at the counter wanted to know if I was Pregnant and my purchase had anything to do with hormones!!!!

ABC replied. I think that is great idea . A box of mithai .... good . Exactly we are not earning for them .

2005-02-07

Name: b
Subject:

suggest

You know augustborn it’s so weird when we take presents for our relatives and they discriminate that whether their son got it or their dils. On my last trip to my in-laws place, I took some nice shirts for my FIL and a pair of nigh gowns for my MIL.
I don't know much she liked the things, but her first question was whether you got it or my son got it. I was very shocked to hear. Her son and I both share the same roof we don’t even have a separate bank account but my MIL still discriminates the things have been bought by her son or me. Her son (my hubby) doesn’t even bother to take a small piece of paper for her; I am the one who buys stuff for his family. Actually he hardly cares about anyone. Sometimes I go on my own for shopping and when I get stuff I just show him I bought this for your sister/brother or mom/dad. He doesn’t even give a second look. Now you only suggest how to convince my MIL that whatever presents she gets it’s her dil’s courtesy not her son’s.

2005-02-08

Name: b
Subject:

hi augustborn,

my sil is just like your relatives she has no appreciation whatsoever. she just passes the things to other relatives specially then ones I give.

I work so hard to find nice stuff for people and this is how they treat us in return. to my surprise she does the same with me, meaning certain things which she gets from other relatives she gives it to me. as i don't have a habit of passing on the gifts i generally keep them and feel so happy that it was a gift.

once she gave me a saree (it kind of looked used) but then i thought doesn't matter, and last time when i wore it to my hubby's aunt’s place and she said oh u also bought the same saree the one i gave to ur sil. i was so embarrassed at that time.

2005-02-07

Name: augustborn
Subject:

Same scenario

You know, yours is the exact scenario as mine...
My husband too is least bothered about buying anything for anybody. Strangely, even the thought doesnot cross his mind. I go(either with/without him) to buy the stuff. Select, wrap the gifts blah...blah..
Also, make sure I remember everyone's birthday and remind mu husband too! Call, mail gifts too.

After doing this, trust me noone even says thankyou. On the contrary, I hear things like..."She didnt get even a single decent thing!" :)
Hey btw did I mention that none of them have ever given me anything...:)

My husband happened to hear this and was appalled. Since then I requested my husband to buy gifts for his family on his own since they dont like what I buy...Well, my illustrated IL's havent received a single gift since then :) Now its between them and their son...:)

Giving gifts is such a beautiful expression of love but when its distorted, it loses its spirit...

2005-02-07

Name: augustborn
Subject:

On a serious note

I have personally stopped taking gifts for my relatives. I generally take a dry-fruit box whenever I visit relatives.
I only buy gifts for my parents, siblings, MIL and FIL.
Infact, I have stopped buying gifts for my SILs. I came to know that they badmouth about me and the gifts I bring them sayings things like,\";They are worthwhile to be even touched.\"; Well, if my gifts are not good enough for them, then they needn't get them.
Anyways, I still take gifts(even when I am here in US on an official visit) for their kids(dont want to drag small children in all this mess)and it makes me smile when their kids say,\";Yeh mami ne laya hai.\"; and they correct them by saying,\";Nahi bolo yeh mama ne laya hai.\"; ...haha..especially since 'mama' was not on that trip also...:)

2005-02-07

Name: augustborn
Subject:

How right you are!

I had come to US on an official visit last time and didnt have time to do eloborate shopping so thought of buying candy for everyone. Ended up buying candy for $200 at walmart...the lady at the counter wanted to know if I was Pregnant and my purchase had anything to do with hormones!!!!

2005-02-08

Name: qvc
Subject:

walmart candies??

candies worth of $200 at walmrt?/ r u kidding me..walmart is the cheapest store for candies and if u buy worth 200$ u will get a heap of them..i mean u won't be able to take that much weight with ur other luggage...r u sure u spent 200 bucks..
I am sorry but pelase don't write stuff by makin gup stories for entertainment and to belittle inlaws!!!

2005-02-06

Name: ABC
Subject:

Good idea !!!

I think that is great idea . A box of mithai .... good . Exactly we are not earning for them .

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