Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

NO SPACE . No PRIVACY
I think the problem is of space .Indian Inlaws dont know their boundaries and have no concept of privacy or space . Indian society with joint family system have such a horrible mesh of relationships that everyone is squeezed tigtly into it . No breathing space for anyone . Hence all this pain and bitterness .
HUSBANDS ARE BABIES
In my view they are not men just little babies who also have no concept of being the men who can define both relationships and boundaries - Mother and wife . Joint family system has never made them totally independent in decision making , hence their mind is underdeveloped with regard to being on their own or looking after their wives or children . They are so used to looking up to mommy to decide everything for them .
In my humble opinion in general all DIL's can solve their problems like this
a) Everyday work on building your space from your extended family . Make more distance as you can in these long distance phone calls . When My MiL asks me questions i reply with Questions or avoid talking to her . Talk hurridly or pretend call is not clear or ask her to pass the phone to SIL or FIL .
b) Discuss with your husband ... educate him SMALL DOSE EVERYDAY in what you like and what triggers your bad mood . I told mine ( many times ) that I hate it when MIL asks you what you ate . Is she going to come and cook . Next time he told his mom not to ask such \";baekaaar\"; questions.
Next my most quotable quote is even in Golden old times in India elders were supposed to take Vanprasth Ashram phase into jungle and let younger generation enjoy grastha Ashram . Even elders dont do it anymore they should mentally do it and give space to younger generation .







augustborn replied. Absolutely true. You have summarised this so beautifully.

Infact I feel every girl/boy should spend some years in a hostel. It prepares you to be on your own, teaches you how to survive and make your way in the world, rely on your judgement and helps you to be an independent person. This equips us well for our later life.
While in many cases its possible when we move out of our homes to pursue further studies but im most cases, thats not possible...

Cheers!