Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I am very much concern about my son.

I and My husband are going to very tough face of relations. We fight a lot.
I have only one son. He is six yrs old. He has behaviour problems. He has lack of attention, doesn' t want to take interest in any activities except car games and boxing games. He doesn' t have good manners. He is replying back to us, he doesn' t listen to us, he doesn' t have any friends. He has cousin 11 yrs. When i take him to his cousin house he gets hyperactive and do very bad behaviour. His cousin doesn' t want to play with him. He is lying.

What to do???? Any Suggestions? Dilip Mani replied. whtever problem u are facing with ur kid can be tackle by interacting and talking to your kid and with the help of music therapy he will stay calm and relaxed.

Dilip Mani
Music Therapist Dr. Sudeep Shroff replied. I can understand what you might me going through. The relationship between parents is critical in the development of a child' s psyche.

The child learns from observation and integrates the patterns that parents exhibit in their interaction.

I have seen with my clients that when a child is brought to us for his problems most of the time, we end up dealing with parents. It is important that parents' state of mind is not reflected in the interaction with the child. Yes, I understand that it is difficult to apply, yet in my opinion, that is the best first step you can take to start working with your issue.

The critical point here is to avoid guilt and blame, and instead, to accept the reality of situation and learn effective parenting styles in interacting with your child.

Though hard to accept, the begining is not to work with child to improve him, instead, to work with yourself to solve the conflicts between you and your husband.

with care and concern,
Dr. Sudeep Shroff
Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist