Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi friends,
my hubby is a professional and earns quite well. i have a brother-in-law who stays in a separate house in Madhya Pradhesh with his fly and not doing so well. He has his business which doesnt run so well. I stay with my inlaws..Now whenever my in laws r in need of money to pay the bills(grocery, telephone, this that)...they always make my hubby pay it. My hubby without a uttering a word pays it..howmuch ever they ask for. my ma-in-law holds a lot of get together, cooks a lot..and the rest of the things r thrown away..theres so much of wastage happening..this pricks. Once i told my hubby to see that he saves some money regularly and should not spend so much..but he replies saying..do not interfere in money matters. also he says m i keeping u deprived of anything? (which he is not).sometimes i think he is right..coz my brother also pays all bills at my mummy-daddy's place and then i think..if he doesnt pay..how will my old dad be able to manage so much of expenses at this stage...
My brother-in-law doesnt send anything to his mom day(my inlaws) coz he wants us to understand that his business doesnt run well...and at times my fil send money to him if he runs into losses as he has to take care of his fly and a little kid who is my inlaws favourite? I dont know all these questions that come into my mind r correct or not? can anyone help me???/ Mitr replied. Jayasree I too face a problem similar to this. My husband is the eldest and earns much better than his bro'. His bro actually is much elder to me but all of them treats him still as a kid. My BIL is a play boy when it comes to relationship and work. My husband had the responsibility of the family. His father is a healthy retired professional who didnt saved anything for his senior years and depends completely on his son thats my hubby. I know its the responsibility of children to look after their parents in their senior years but is it good for a parent to make use of a single son?

My hubby too says the same dialo as ur wife like not to interfere in money matters as he is taking care of everything pretty well till now. He gets angry and shouts at me if I still try to talk to him about keeping a control on spending. What should I do in this situations? Please advice. leena replied. You have mentioned that ur hubby earns well and your brother-in-law doen'nt make it that well or has created an impression that way. You have a tough way bcos ur husband seems to be contented in spending for his parents and brother. Many a times parents take an undue advantage of a son who is more than willing to give money bcos he earns well, his 'poor' parents have done all these sacrifices and that same crap. I don't know abt ur educational and family background - but u should get more involved in ur husband's money matters, u should'nt be content that he is providing u a lot, or should'nt take if your husband insists that u should be happy with cooking and decking up and don't poke in financial issues. Is he saving a lot for ur children and you - who keeps the accounts - or money just comes in and goes out. Imagine what will happen if something were to happen to ur husband who takes care of you and ur children - who is going to spend for you - don't trust that ur in-laws will take good care of you, or your BIL will be obligated to spend for you! The ONLY thing that you should do is keep account of money in-flow and outflow, see that it is not wasted on your in-laws whims or in giving way large amounts to setup BIL's business. Afterall he's an adult and should fend for himself. On the same note , if same things happen in your parents house then you have to see your SIL's view also. Bcos in that case your parents can't be poor and old.