Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi all,

I dont know if my problem is a real one or whether we should even be talking abt this..My husband has 2 sisters and he's rather physically close with all of them and his mother. Sometimes before bedtime he will go hug his mother and lie next to her and then later on come into our bedroom. I feel so yuck at such times. I dont want to be another one in the\";band\"; of women in his life..
Physical proximity or slightest of affection shown (like holding hands) between me and my hsuband is frowned upon in the community, yet I have to torture myself with their sugary scenes of 'love you's' and hugs! eeeyaah!! I feel like running far way at times!

Is there something wrong with me or my hsuband a little too much?

P.s: i too have a family and the last i remember climbing over and kissing my dad or mom was when i won a competition in the 6th grade. there is a lot of love and respect between us siblings, tho we dont message each other daily, 'love you, missing you, kisses to you...\";!!!

Help! me too replied. When my Mil visited us for 6 months my husband used to do the same !! He would sleep in her bedroom on the floor many nights . She used to press his feet after he came from the office . Expect him to spend all his time with her .He should Stay particularly away from me and my new born baby's room .They both used to go sight seeing ,shopping , long walks etc while I stayed at home looking after the baby . She was so cruel to me when he was not around . i had a horrible depressing time ,feeling lonely , recovering from pregnancy and it was horrible but thankgoodness I knew she would leave in a few months and that kept me going .
So my advise to you is to make your husband slowly conscious that he is an adult now and it is weird for you as you love him as a mature adult .Another way to make him conscious is to join him ..... go with him when goes to talk to his mom in her room ,Sit next to both of them and chat with them . see what happens .
Best of luck . Angel replied. Hi

I feel the same way. It is something very difficult to explain for me. I feel it should be reserved for me..she had her turn when hubby was little!! I think I may feel this way because when hubby and I want to hold hands or hug I always get told that I am to clingy and I smother him..I feel that she is trying to posess him and try and prove to me that she gave birth to hima and he will always be hers. I agree with you. I personally feel quite insecure about it especially since my FIL is late. I also HATE the massaging..she has always got something that is in pain and requires hubby to massage and take care of her.

Don't worry u are not alone and u are definately not out of your mind!! another DIL replied. Dear PJ,
Whats normal for one person may not be for another. This is due to the simple fact that we were all brought up in different homes & different values. I am physically close to my mom n dad. I hug them. Infact even within relatives we all give each other hugs (sometimes tight ones !!). My in-laws are the other extreme. No touching (forget hugging) between people of opposite sexes. I have even asked my hubby to hug his mom, but he won't do it. I think its just a way of expressing love. We women love to read too much into things. So take it easy. As long as the hubby is showing the same amount of affection, i mean in the same way, theres nothing to worry about. I feel that people should be physical. It feels so cold the other way round. But then again, i am saying this coz I was in a family where this was a norm. for pj replied. I dont find it strange. You feel a lot more secure about your relationships by hugging. Though there are a few exceptions, in your case, since you have mentioned that your husband just lies with your mother and returns calls for nothing to worry. Is your mil a widow ? you might be feeling awkward since you have not seen such things before in your life.