Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I have a 6 year old daughter. Some times when she wants some thing and me or my husband don’t give her she gets angry and as she can not do anything to us she tries to
Hurt herself.

Initially I was not much worried but yesterday my husband asked my daughter not to play with a toy as it was already late and she needs to go to bed she took a knife and tried to hurt herself. Some how I managed to pull the knife from her and told her that if she get hurts then the police will take her to jail as hurting to anyone or herself is a crime But since then I lost my peace of mind and don’t know why she behaves like this .

In Summer she was with my parents and use to watch TV a lot . I think that could be the reason as the kids take all the stuff shown in TV as real and also could be another reason that Me and my husband try to be strict as now also she behaves like a 2 year old and make the house messy and anything we ask her to do she takes too much time even for drinking milk etc.

Please advise me what should I do in order to stop her doing things like hurting herself.

Thank you,
Rasmi
SK Mishra replied. I am going through the similar issue. My son is close to eight years. He gets angry very fast and loose intrest in most of the activities. He starts telling me that no one love me, I feel that I am adopted baby etc, etc...
He rtort to teacher and doesnot write in the class.
We had consulted the child counselor and they asked us not to punish for most of the activities. Draw a boundaries when to punish and what kind of punish should be there.

I see very little improvement. He started sharing his mischivious behavior which he use to hide but it is frustrating to see that he has not improved much. Equally I am not getting support from the school. The school teacher is not trained and humileate my child infront of every one or start complaining about my son infront of all the kid and my son. School teacher threaten my that I will see that your son is thrown out of this school for small reasons. They have taken a hefty mony for donation and wants every thing to be taken care by the parents.
Since my wife was also working, School supervisor forced my wife to quit the job. My wife is being asked to come daily to school and sign on the my son' s behavior register which she maintains for my son. It is a reputed school, and I am afraid compaining about the supervisor since It will impact my child further and Supervisor of junior school is taking advantage of this situation.
Thank You
SK Pooja replied. Hi Rashmi,

Do you work? Do you and your husband give enough time to spend with your kid. To me usually children develop this kind of attitute when they are not given much attention by parents and after over pampering. Usually for working women come across these kind of problems with their children or a joint family daughter in laws.

Think and think do you really give attension when she needs you. Whenever she does something wrong try to go to her level and think why is she doing it? MAY BE SHE NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION. TO DRAW MORE & MORE ATTENTION from you. She knows well that you will definitely spend time with her when she hurts herself. So she got your pulse and playing the trick. Children are very smart they know how to take output from parents.

What you can do is stop over reacting for her mischiefs. Draw a line for thing to be punished and not to be punished. For ex. if she pours water on the floor while playing or if she pulls cloths from cupboard accidentally then don' t overreact. These are things like OK kind. You try to balance your mood and give the confort to the child that you are available for her whenever she needs, develop faith on you in the child' s mind only by caring and loving. Then you can see the miracles happening.

You said this became more after she returned from her Grandparents place. Grand parents take care of the kids very nicely. They usually don' t say no to anything to children. Now she may not be getting that much attention what she was paid there. Think in that angle and start working on it.

Rashmi, since I don' t know the whole picture of your story I told in general. If the problem is different try to share with the memebrs of this board. You will definately find an answer.

ALL THE BEST..
Shobha replied. I think that you should have a hearty talk with your daughter , taking her on your lap and explain her that such behaviour hurts you and her Dad. Ask her how she would feel if you too did the same thing like her whenever she doesnt listen to you. Would she like that?
About mess, I think she is still small and you can help her to clean up, and also give some incentives like more tv time or some favourite snack for lunch, if she cleans up and listens to you and dad. Best Luck! She is still innocent , so turn her thoughts to your way of thinking by talking to her. Also let her know that some things are not acceptable and parents have to be strict at times.