Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

How do I teach my 4-year-old son to respect my personal boundaries? He keeps groping my breasts even though I tell him not to. I don't want to be cold with him, but it feels frustrating. I need it to stop. What can I do? Samay replied. Three step discipline suggestion: when he grabs your breasts, grab his hands, pull them away from your body, and tell him firmly ?No, I don?t want you to touch me that way.? If he reaches for you again, catch his hands BEFORE he grabs you, push them away, and tell him firmly ?No, I don?t want you to touch me that way.? If he reaches for you again, catch his hands BEFORE he grabs you, change your location (stand up, move away from him, etc) and tell him firmly ?No, I don?t want you to touch me that way.? Continue to do this consistently until he gets the message. Physically moving his hands away from your body will take patience for you, will probably frustrate him, but it?s all necessary at this point. The consistent repetition WILL get through to him. You want him to understand that it?s his ACTIONS you don?t like, not him as an individual. At 4 years old, he understands the difference between Yes and No, correct? He?s looking for your attention, and knows that by grabbing your breasts, he?ll get it. Give him your attention in a different way. Change out the groping for a hug that you initiate. He also needs to learn boundaries of other people?s bodies before he starts school (within the next year or two, correct?) because he?ll get into more trouble doing that to his classmates or his teacher. Be consistent, be calm but firm, and establish those boundaries NOW.