Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

What is the best way to stop a 2 year old brat of my guest when he is about to destroy something expensive at my home? Hetal replied. The child is not the brat ? your guest is. Why is that child not contained and controlled by its parent(s)? In our house, we?re quite fed up with people who ?visit? but do nothing to prevent their child from roaming the house. After too many times when a few minutes? inattention by US allowed the children of lazy parents to go upstairs to our kids? rooms and completely trash them, we assess the situation now, and while my wife is kinder and more patient than I am, my statement is, ?I wish we could visit longer, but since you aren?t supervising your child, and this is a home where only well-trained children thrive, I believe the time to end your visit has arrived. Thank you for coming.? And then I don?t back down. ?Oh, you don?t have to watch him, he won?t hurt himself,? or ?Haven?t you child-proofed your house for your grandchildren?s visits?? are met with a smile and a repetition, ?I?m so sorry you had to cut your visit short. Could you possibly hold on to him now, as you?re preparing to leave, so we don?t have to chase him down for you again?? And if we really have to answer those objections, I?m prepared to do so. ?I don?t care about his safety ? that?s between you, him, and the law of probability, not to mention the strong involvement of gravity. What I care about is the time and money it will take to clean up and/or repair whatever room he?s been in without your supervision.? Or, ?Our grandchildren have been well-taught and are well-supervised by our children, who are excellent, caring parents and very good guests. Except for keeping sharp knives out of the reach of children, that?s all the child-proofing we need.? Am I not concerned that they?ll be offended? Not really. The kind of people who let their children wander through someone else?s house unsupervised are the same parents who will emerge from this scene to tell other people, ?Well, Scott Card hates children, so we?re not taking Angelicus Satanicus to his house again.? I love children. I even love wild, destructive unsupervised children. They are merely fulfilling the measure of their creation. It would be as reasonable to be angry at squirrels for pooping on our patio furniture. Our children never behaved destructively anywhere ? not in our own home, not in other people?s homes. When they were very small, they were never out of our reach, let alone our sight; by the time they were old enough, they already knew to ask permission before entering ANY room in someone else?s house. It?s called education and civilization. If you have a guest who isn?t even trying to civilize their feral child, it is perfectly acceptable, in my opinion, for you to make clear the reason why you are gently, kindly expelling them and their child from your home, immediately. If they don?t take the responsibility of child-rearing seriously, I don?t need them as friends. If that sounds judgmental, it?s because I have, indeed, judged them and found them dangerous. I?ll let them take some refreshments home, if they?re leaving before such edibles were served. I?m not punishing them; I?m just saving my home and my sanity.