Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

My 8 yr old daughter is become so much stubborn, that she is not doing her studies properly, after every minute we hv to push her. I'm sending her for tutions as well,but tution teacher also has same complaint that she doesn't pay much attention towards studies. Till 2nd std she was ok. But from beginning only she will not do her studies on her own, she wants us to sit with her. Recently I'hv got 2nd baby who is 7 mths old & also I'm a working woman. Can't spend much time with her. My mil takes care of her. She is pampering her too much. But she doesn't listen to her as well. For eating also she will not eat on her own, now also we hv to feed her. If she has not completed her hw, she will start crying, which will go long for an hour or so. We hv told her many times not to cry,but can complete her hw by that time. But she will not listen to anybody. She has habit of crying for small small things. I feel so irritating, most of the times, I'm scolding her, but no use. We always scares her by telling that we will admit her in hostel if she will act like this, but no use. My husband is very much polite & positive with her, but her behavious is same with him as well. Pls. advise how to tackle her as I'm very much worried about her education. In the beginning only if she will loose interest of the studies, I don't know what will happen in future. She is also going for Bharat Natyam classes, but there also she is not much comfortable. She likes drawing, we give her lot of books, colors. We give her all the basic things whatever she wants. But her behaviour is not upto the satisfaciton. Pls. help out.

Regards,


SMITA monika replied. dear mom,
i also have a9 yr old daughter with whom i also faced the same problem but nt to the extent you r talkng about .i had a baby last year and was very very cautious to not to miss on anything for my elder one as this is a very difficult age since i am a working mom i arranged for a full time help for myyounger one and spend exclusive time with my elder daughter .for her homework.hobby classes ,her school stoies i make my self available to her and i admit that sometimes i ignore my younger one but my in-laws and help are there to take care of her as she is too young and can be easity diverted this policy is helping me and i also scold my daughter but sparingly inly when she has done something really wrong otherwise scolding becomes meaningless to the child
bye and all the best Tony S replied. Dear Smita,
Sorry to pint out like this - but u r giving her everything but the one thing that she needs and that is your exclusive attention. I know it is difficult for a working mom but for sometime in a day, everyday, sit with her, involve yourself in her homework - tell her some ' fun stuff' u found out in the newspaper or saw on the road. This should be the exclusive time between u and her - so let your MIL take care of the baby during this time - no disturbances - no potty/feeding/other things. So slect the time intelligently. If possible , tell your husband also to chip in , independently or with u guys so u 3 can have some fun together - not necessarily homework time but anything - maybe watching a video or playing cards or a simple game with her. - This is essential as she is missing out on all that fun she probably had before the baby arrived. So be v. tactful and never ever say that u will send her to the hostel - in other words u r telling her that u do not need her and dont love her. all the best.