Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Dear All need some support
Some of you might have wondered where I had disappeared to. I have been through a lot in last three weeks.
After 2 painful miscarriages and 2 years of on/off trying, God blessed me with pregnancy. Yes, I am pregnant. I found that out on Sep.22. I was so happy that God finally had mercy on me. I wanted to share that to you all in this board. But soon after that, I started spotting. Even though it was very light and I didn't have any cramps, I was terrified because of my history. I called the nurse & she asked me to go on complete bed rest. Meanwhile I was asked to go for some blood tests to know the HCG levels. The first one had doubled in numbers in 3 three days. But, the following tests were not exactly doubling but, they were rising. So, I went for an u/s and couldn't find anything in the uterus.
To add to my stress, my doctor was very sure that I have tubal pregnancy and she wanted me to take medication for it right away. As tubal pregnancies are life threatening and could damage future fertility. But, the medication is the one; they give for cancer patients for chemotherapy. As the doc talked about the side effects like hair loss, possible menopause, I had a voice deep inside me kept saying that what the doctor was saying wrong, that I don't have tubal pregnancy and I don't need to take medication for what I don't have. So, I insisted the doc to prescribe me another u/s. She was not happy to do that as she wanted me to take the medication right away. Finally she gave in and I went for another u/s on Oct.6. And found a yolk sac (but without yolk) in the uterus. The nurse told me that it's too early to see a yolk at this point. Also, she told me that it is NOT a tubal pregnancy as we saw the sac in the uterus. (The reason I wanted to write about this is that, please always trust your instincts and always listen to the little voice trying to communicate to you. Those are God's Whispers.)
By now, I was not at all comfortable with the doctor as she put us through lot of stress and claimed me having something that I don't have, even worst, she wanted to treat me for it. So, I changed the doctor. And my spotting became little heavier. I did couple of more blood tests in the new clinic and still my HCG level is rising slowly & not as much as it should. My nurse asked me to go for another u/s as I had been spotting and bleeding for 2 and weeks. That was done yesterday. After the u/s I was waiting for the doctor to talk to me. I didn't know what to expect, as I did see the sac again but it didn't noticeably enlarge even after 5 days. The doctor talked to me even though she was much nicer than the previous doc, the news she gave me was not good. My pregnancy is not progressing properly and it doesn't seem to be a normal one. She pretty much gave me two options: one to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally. The 2nd option is to go for D & C. I am not sure what to do. I am not comfortable to go for D&C just because what if the doctor is wrong, what if the embryo grows suddenly and I want to give all I could for this pregnancy but the advantage of D&C would be that the doctor will collect the tissues and send for pathology for chromosome abnormalities. If I wait for the natural miscarriage (as it might happen at my home), there is a good chance that I may not be able to collect tissue for pathology. Even though I have to go through physical pain in natural miscarriage, I think I would at least be happy that I gave all the chances for my baby. What do you girls think that I should do?
I am sorry girls for such a long post and thank you very much for reading.

Love you all,
Lots of baby dust to all of us.
Puja replied. hi there latha, ur story actually brought tears to my eyes...as a woman i really proud of u that ur bearing all this and going thru so much to have ur own angel...be rest assured u will soon have ur own bundle of joy and then all wot ur going thru will be forgotten...take care of urself and dont worry and htink too much...wot will be will be que sera sera just keep doing ur bit ur karma will definitely come back to u...full circle!
lots of baby dust to u and all!
love puja Sunshine replied. It's true.. God does whisper in our ears... I wish He makes your miracle happen...
You are in my prayers.. *hugs*
Take care of yourself and your baby...
With love,
S xx Mithu replied. I dont know what to say.I m really feel sorry .I will surely pray for u. As u said trust ur instincts and listen to the little voice trying to communicate to u ..Yeah the God's whispers.He will surely give the answer before u take the next step.Really really hoping ur baby will stick and u dont need to go for a D&C.Pray to god.Talk with people who loves u ,listens u from the bottom of their heart.Then u will feel good.
Take care dear..We will be praying for U simba replied. Latha,
I know what you are feeling. I went through a miscarraige in 6 weeks about 6 months back. I was devastated... and it was our first month of ttc, but then on the bright side at least you know you can get pregnant right. Also in my case my doctor did not even recommend a DC. She said I will get my periods eventually and this is all quite normal sometimes.
I truly beleive god has a plan for every one of us and he will take care of us. I have decided not to stress about this for now. I am going to focus on other things in my life like my DH, my home, plan vacations to far away places and my work. I will not let my freinds and family get to me with their so called \";curiosity\"; or \";sympathy\";. In fact we have been telling people we are not yet ready for a kid... to avoid questions. And I'm glad I have people at this website to share my feelings when I need to.
Take care and lots of rest. A miscarraige is lot to deal with emotionally and physically. Do what the doctor says. The analysis of the tissue could lead to something you were not aware of.
Take care,
Simba hopingfortejas replied. Hey Latha,
my heart goes out to you, my dear... i can understand how you must be feeling when u go through all this...

I am new to all this , so not the one to give you advice on what to do ...

but one thing, which i can give is , my support and hope ....

whatever the decision you take, dont lose hope and remember that what you think and what you tell to your body plays a big role in everything that happens in your life ....

so amintain a positive attitude :) ... i know it is easier said than done ..but !!

-Prarthna Nambikkai replied. I don't know what to say...I can understand what you are going thru.. Im here in pretty much the same state..
But onething for sure...God definitely has his plan ..and will surely bless you..you are such a nice person..
Sitting here.. I just pray that the Almighty might give you the courage to get thru this..
Lots of love and special prayers,
Nambikkai Karishma replied. hi dear,

i am in total loss of words and am not even being able to frame even a sentence to console ur heart, my dear.

I think this baby was not meant for you and that God wants this angel to be there up above so that you can see it shining in the sky like a star. He wants you to know that even if this baby was born, he/she wud not be able to be like each one of us and that it wud leave u and your DH in tears. Instead, God thought to keep this precious one with him so that he will not allow any more tears in your lovely eyes.

Pls. stay calm. I feel you must go by your docs words. As atleast if u do a D&C you will b able to collect tissues for the tests. atleast u will come to know where u r standing and wats exactly happening.

Dont worry, i know its easy to say this and can fathom whats going on with u n ur state of mind.

As bharathi said, keep hope in life and believe in God!!! He knows what he is doing and he doesnt want anyone of us feeling depressed in later part of our life. So he gives us little pain and removes our life long sadness. what say??

I am with you thru this time of grief. Praying to God that he gives u the much needed support.

Feel free to write to us and pls. dont get disheartened.

Loads of baby dust on u and all of us.

Luv,

Karish
babyfairy replied. dear latha,
Your story sound EXACTLY like mine. We went thru the same thing. I think they call it a blighted ovum. We were devastated. We also were keep praying that the HCG levels would suddenly rise. But, you know if the embryo is not growing normally from the very beginning, then it will probably not be a very healthy baby, right? We want a HAPPY, BOUNCING BABY, right? We actually went to a specialist after the 2nd time. He pretty much said. Try again (the 3rd times a charm)! Guess what, the next month we got pregnant and now we have a little baby girl. She is our little blessing from god! Now we want another one and are having a little trouble again. But, I am sure it'll work out like it did last time. I believe that you will see the 2 that you lost again at some point in your life. It's just you were not meant to see them just yet. Just have patience and keep trying! It will happen sooner than you know.

Love,
Babyfairy bharathi replied. Hi Mithu,

I'm really sorry to listen about what kind of mental stress and pain u r going through. This is really really sad thing:(
Since doctor is sure that pregnancy is not going on well, it is better we listen to doctor, so that we do not face any more complications later. I would suggest if doctor says D and C then go for it. Ask doctor what is the better option, and do what doctor says.
One of my known friend had 5 miscarriages and finally she gave birth to beautiful boy. So please don't get low, i'm sure u will have baby.
God is testing our ability to bear the pain.
Keep hopes in life and beleive god, i will pray for u.

bharathi