Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Name: A

My in laws had to struggle for living during their hay days so they made money by doing lot of things for living.By now they have a mastery over many thing due to experience be i managing home front,organising an event,delegating to the househelp. Now after being well to do due to their son' s earning they live life to the fullest,even when my husband has voiced that some expenses will be difficult for us to bear. I have never showed dislike when my husband spends for them. He also likes to spend for my parents, but since my parents are no so well to do i did not always encourage my husband towards spending/over spending for them. I dont want my parents to get used to luxurious life which we cannot promise them forever. Rathr we meet my parents monthly ,gift them once a while nd call them for occassions etc.at our place. Now i am unable to see my in laws literally asking each and everything from my husband . We take care of the entire household exp,gifts,investments,salary of maids,drivers,gardeners,etc. and even their vaccation tickets & costly gifts of their nearest relatives. My in laws earn a handsome pension but use it only for their spending for leisure over and above what we spend for them.
I am a fairly homely young mother . I like updating myself learn new thngs.But I hae started controling my feelings ,expenses etc...thinking it
will reduce financial burden on my husband.
Even by spending prudently my husband' s money my in laws dont seem to be getting the hint. They instead tease me that i am a miser.
Daily mil goes out leaving chores for me, and i like being at home and so end up doing her created work so i dont retaliate even though it hinders with my prsonal work. I am still not given authority in our home where they r living with us. She gets to decide most things. I have remanind passive all thru to maintain peace at home since she has the habit of shouting and disrespecting in front of others. Bu to prove h point she talks very sweetly before others and shows she gives me equal opportuniy. I hv understood that pleasing does not help, being passive does not help,but i am just not getting courage to speak up for myself except to my husband. Talking things to him hs only made him talk less with me in this regard. I am doing the expected work and i just have necessary dialogues at home whenever required. I try to be away in some othr room after the regular work is over . Wn mil' s relatives visit us I be with them briefly, offer food,and then move away.
Seeing my detachment and hiding my enthu my husband is increasinly getting irritated with my attitude and says we shal move from here. This has bad effects on everything except my peace of mind. Our big house will be under their control,but continue to be paid by us, school will suffer,most important my husbands work place will badly suffer, all their relatives will make my house their home. What should i do? When we sstop paying for them they talk bad, take money from sil and her hubby, which later we end up paying since it looks bad.

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