Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I got married 2 years ago and came to chennai, its an arrange marriage. They were demanding gold and other things which I dint like. My parents got fooled my MIL as she pretended to act rich.After cumming here we discoverd that they done have anything.My hubby is complete mom' s boy. He needs his mother' s happiness and she needs money. he gives his debit card to her and she takes complete salary and gives him only 1000. I am working in MNC earning gud money and my hubby demanded me to give 75 to her and have been giving for tht last 2 yrs. For evrythinghe needs to ask his mom. and i pay the car loan and spend for going out. She is very smart lady and acts very nicely as thoughshe cares for me.she has taken all my jewels and saying that she will keep it safely. She pledges the gold n gives for higher interest in the market. My hubby is aware of it and he does not mind. He cares a lot for me though, but if i question anything there is a big fite. Iam scared of them and dont have guts to say. Now i have baby of 3 months. and my MIL very smartlt takes the kid from me N my hubby says that i should take rest and leave the baby her. Now my baby is not recognizing me as i am working in nite shift. how do i tell my hubby the problem i am going through and need evry right as a wife. How to get rid of my MIL Mira replied. See Anju, its not about being right or wrong. Don’t be scared of them. Trust me I was scared in the beginning. I used to tik how will they react. But if we keep suppressing our thoughts like that, they will get everything their way. Keep ur parents updated and let them know that u rin topuch with them. Getting married doesn’t mean u have to be totally disconnected fom ur parents.Do they allow u to call ur parents from home? And when u tell ur husband, don’t over react, maintain a calm tone. Usuallly men changes with the coming of a baby..U said he really loves u. So im sure u wil be able to change him to a certain extent.
All the best and keep me updated.
Mira replied. Where is your fil? Act now or you are going to mess it up further more. Tell your husband politely how u r feeling. Don’t try to put the blame on him or never try to accuse him… Mammas guys are always difficult to handle. Looks like ur mil owe every situation. Tell him you need to start saving money for your baby. Babies, no matter what will definitely recognise their mothers. See he is just 3 months, and spend maximum time with your baby while you are at home. Who does household chores? Considering that u r in a night shift, u will be sleeping through out the day. Is that so? No matter what, u don’t need to give ur money to ur mil. Be stern. Don’t be submissive. That maeks matters worse. I know it takes a lot to gather the strength and to act being assertive. But have the courage to say”no” when its needed. When u don’t like certain things like ur mil taking off ur baby, tell her this is the time the baby needs his mother most and I go in the afternoon, s I would rather spend as much time possible with him during day time.Maintain a polite tone but say it clear that she understands. I wouldn’t suggest you quit the job. Earn money and have secret savings. U dontneed to tell ur husband or mil about this. Don’t tell him if get a hike or cash in hand,deposit the money in a abnk. Be on the safe side always. What u need to do now is start saying no”. The first few times u might feel it very difficult. But once u start saying ti, u will know it isn’t that difficult. M sure u r a shy and andsubmissive person by nature. SO am i. but trust me, if u don’t say no when its apt, people will take u for granted.