Hi..I have earlier written in this forum about my in-laws issues. Now my daughter is 2.3years old and is becoming naughtier day by day..and at times I have to hit her to make her know she is wrong.
Today when I hit her hand,she decided to be away from me and moreover she ws getting pampering from my MIL and FIL, so she ws not ready to listen to me...and everyday I would make her sleep and today she dint want it, but wanted my MIL to do it...I ws very hurt...hurt more coz my MIL or FIL never bother to clean her if she has done potty or anything, but even if Im eating my lunch/dinner, I hv to keep my plate aside and clean my daughter..this bothers me..coz my MIL acts as if she is the sole caretaker of my daughter,and my FIL keeps telling people that my daughter doesnt need her mom,but only her granny...it really really hurts..I dont know how to overcome this feeling or am I overreacting..???
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Hi..I have earlier written in this forum about my in-laws issues. Now my daughter is 2.3years old and is becoming naughtier day by day..and at times I have to hit her to make her know she is wrong.
Today when I hit her hand,she decided to be away from me and moreover she ws getting pampering from my MIL and FIL, so she ws not ready to listen to me...and everyday I would make her sleep and today she dint want it, but wanted my MIL to do it...I ws very hurt...hurt more coz my MIL or FIL never bother to clean her if she has done potty or anything, but even if Im eating my lunch/dinner, I hv to keep my plate aside and clean my daughter..this bothers me..coz my MIL acts as if she is the sole caretaker of my daughter,and my FIL keeps telling people that my daughter doesnt need her mom,but only her granny...it really really hurts..I dont know how to overcome this feeling or am I overreacting..???
AH replied. Hi Moms..thanks for your reverts..I would love to know how to keep my daughter occupied with something better and how do I spend value added time with her..coz now Im just being with her to complete the basic chores..which she doesnt like at all..like feeding her - food/milk..potty cleaning etc..so it becomes like I have to take care of her for the basic things and on the other hand my MIL enjoys playing time with her.
I have to almost hit my daughter daily..she keeps pulling my hair when I ask to come with me for something..like making her sleep..or bathing her..I get so irritated..so I end up hitting her..
remya replied. hai,i read ur article. kids will stand with those pple who are parotecting them, our in laws was mother and father for 20 yrs back, they might beat or shut towards their kids, but our hus ' s not remembering these no? see when we are doing some thing good for our kids at present they may hesitate and neglect ,but in future they will under stand u and ur prob. but make firm that don' t beat r child infron others, be firm of ur policies. u want ur child with good habits and morals, neglect these fil s advt.bye make more valuable time with ur kid
remya replied. hai,i read ur article. kids will stand with those pple who are parotecting them, our in laws was mother and father for 20 yrs back, they might beat or shut towards their kids, but our hus ' s not remembering these no? see when we are doing some thing good for our kids at present they may hesitate and neglect ,but in future they will under stand u and ur prob. but make firm that don' t beat r child infron others, be firm of ur policies. u want ur child with good habits and morals, neglect these fil s advt.bye make more valuable time with ur kid
Mel replied. First of all, stop hitting your child. You do not HAVE to hit her to tell her that she is doing something wrong.
Please find alternate, more effective ways of disciplining her. Please tell your husband to tell his parents that when either you or he discipline your daughter, that they should not interfere. And you, on your part, discipline her in private, not in front of her grandparents. Kids are very sensitive, and she may have been trying to show you her dissatisfaction by asking her gran to do something that you do. Don' t be angry and don' t be sad.
Remember one thing about such young children, they have short memories and are very sensitive. So, if you are angry at her, tell her firmly and politely, and then be normal after that. Don' t show too much of emotion (anger, disappointment, resentment), and at the end of it, ask her for a hug... and tell her that you love her and want her to be good.
If you end all discipline sessions this way, she will not behave the way she did.
And about your FIL telling outsiders that your baby doesn' t need her mother, either you or your husband tell them, that it is not right to do that... and that you would not appreciate a repeat of it. Be firm... and make sure the message is passed on. And if he repeats it, then in front of the same visitors... say, ' My fil is a very jovial person who likes to joke around.'
2009-08-19
#1
Name: AH Subject: How do I keep her occupied..??
Hi Moms..thanks for your reverts..I would love to know how to keep my daughter occupied with something better and how do I spend value added time with her..coz now Im just being with her to complete the basic chores..which she doesnt like at all..like feeding her - food/milk..potty cleaning etc..so it becomes like I have to take care of her for the basic things and on the other hand my MIL enjoys playing time with her.
I have to almost hit my daughter daily..she keeps pulling my hair when I ask to come with me for something..like making her sleep..or bathing her..I get so irritated..so I end up hitting her..
2009-09-03
#2
Name: Swati Subject: How do I keep her occupied..??
Hi, I really remembered my days whn I was reading your post. Situation was same at my home concerning to my parents in laws. Everything will go smooth with your problems if you handel them tactfully and with lots of patience.
U can consider following points to see improvement in your relationship with your daughter.
1)Try to start doing the routine basic things in a playfull manner which will entertain your daughter. So she will take interest in you as well and will not resist to come with you whn u call her.
2)Try to spend time with her other than doing basic routine activities like gving her bath and feeding her. Play with her the games whch she likes. Put on some good rhymes´ s cds for her.. Teach her some interesting new things. Do the things by whch she will like to stay with you and will not run behind her grandparents every now and then.
3)Neverever hit her.
4)Try to create world in which only two persons stays ´ U and YOUR DAUGHTER´
5)U think all the time that you have given birth to your kind after nine months of difficult pregnancy and painfull labour. So U hv first right to enjoy with your kind. And not your parents in laws.
6)Start taking her for walk every evening. Be with her when she is playing in garden. Show her new things, Tell her names for whatever new comes to your way.
7)Let your MIL handel baby only in urge whn u really have to leave your baby for some emergency.
8) U can start habit of telling her good stories everyday before going to the bed.
9)U can start drawing some pictures and let her identify them. Now a days, Lots n lots of books are available for children.
10)Just ignore your FIL´ s comment that your daughter does nt need her mom. People will start laughing at him after few days. I still have to listen the same comment from my FIL in every family gathering and now all relatives laugh at him and make fun of him.
2009-06-18
#3
Name: remya Subject: don´ t worry
hai,i read ur article. kids will stand with those pple who are parotecting them, our in laws was mother and father for 20 yrs back, they might beat or shut towards their kids, but our hus ' s not remembering these no? see when we are doing some thing good for our kids at present they may hesitate and neglect ,but in future they will under stand u and ur prob. but make firm that don' t beat r child infron others, be firm of ur policies. u want ur child with good habits and morals, neglect these fil s advt.bye make more valuable time with ur kid
2009-06-18
#4
Name: remya Subject: don´ t worry
hai,i read ur article. kids will stand with those pple who are parotecting them, our in laws was mother and father for 20 yrs back, they might beat or shut towards their kids, but our hus ' s not remembering these no? see when we are doing some thing good for our kids at present they may hesitate and neglect ,but in future they will under stand u and ur prob. but make firm that don' t beat r child infron others, be firm of ur policies. u want ur child with good habits and morals, neglect these fil s advt.bye make more valuable time with ur kid
2009-06-17
#5
Name: Mel Subject: Hi AH
First of all, stop hitting your child. You do not HAVE to hit her to tell her that she is doing something wrong.
Please find alternate, more effective ways of disciplining her. Please tell your husband to tell his parents that when either you or he discipline your daughter, that they should not interfere. And you, on your part, discipline her in private, not in front of her grandparents. Kids are very sensitive, and she may have been trying to show you her dissatisfaction by asking her gran to do something that you do. Don' t be angry and don' t be sad.
Remember one thing about such young children, they have short memories and are very sensitive. So, if you are angry at her, tell her firmly and politely, and then be normal after that. Don' t show too much of emotion (anger, disappointment, resentment), and at the end of it, ask her for a hug... and tell her that you love her and want her to be good.
If you end all discipline sessions this way, she will not behave the way she did.
And about your FIL telling outsiders that your baby doesn' t need her mother, either you or your husband tell them, that it is not right to do that... and that you would not appreciate a repeat of it. Be firm... and make sure the message is passed on. And if he repeats it, then in front of the same visitors... say, ' My fil is a very jovial person who likes to joke around.'
2009-07-07
#6
Name: AH Subject: She´ s behaving worse...
Thanks Mel and Remya for your suggestions...my hubby, my mom and my sis told me to ignore my FIL if he does comment on me for anything..but i´ m just worried what if my daughter picks that up and also act as if she doesn´ t need me..??
Moreover, I stopped to hit my daughter..but she comes frm school at 1145 and goes on playing with her grandparents.....and she plays some useless games with marbles..sitting in one place...then I somehow hv to drag her and force her to take bath..then her lunch...and she resists so much that she wants to keep on playing with them..when it bcms irritating...and then after all this...she still wants to play and does not sleep at all....then finally I have play the villian..and literally make her cry and then sleep...earlier she use to sleep with the pacifier..now we got rid off it since last 5 months..
I donno how to deal this...its bcmg a habit..and problem with me is that I work a little part-time from home..so am not able to devote full-time attention to her..hv to be on the PC as much as possible...Pls help...
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How do I keep her occupied..??
Name: Swati
How do I keep her occupied..??
Hi AH
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