Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

some of you may remember me....I've had alot of problems with my in-laws, especially my SIL.
Well, I recently had the courage to confront her on the phone about some things she has said to me and written to my hubbie about. My hubbie is totally supportive of me.

I want to say that I feel so much better telling her what I feel about her, how rude she is...I even told er not to come to my house if she's going to behave so coldly towards me (I live in US and she is abroad) and not help me at all when she is here (I told her this is not a hotel!)
Its taken me many years to face up to her but I had to for my sanity. It was starting to affect my health (I'm 6 months pregnant with my second child)
She wants to choose the name of my child...my husband says let her look..but she will have no say in the matter.
My in-laws are all happy this time its a boy but I want no influence of theirs on my son. They are arrogant, egotistical and jealous people.
My mother is coming to look after me b4 the baby come and she'll stay for about 3 months.
My in-laws want to come after too...but I told them I'd prefer it if they come after my mum goes.
I don't care if they took it badly...its my choice.
My MIL has told m,e that she will not cook or clean when she's here..then why is she coming if she cannot lend a hand?
She just wants to sit on the sofa all day with the kids...I am not going to let that happen...I will stick to my routine...I don't care if they are upset with me.
I don't know what I'm going to do when they are here....I just don't like them so it is difficult to stay with them for so long....my MIL want to be here for 3 months or more!
My MIL wnats to bathe with my daughter NAKED!!
I said NO very firmly numerous time...I'm going to strangle her if she asks again!

I've told my hubbie to take one week off and stay at home with us when they come so that anything that has to be said can be told to them.

What do I do?
How do I behave towards them?
Is it right for me to be set in a routine with my kids no matter what they want to do?

I'm trying not to get upset by them but their stupidity just astounds me sometimes.

Thanx
Liberty replied. Ok, what is going on here. This is your house. NO more inlaws. Check them into the nearest monthly rental. I am single, under no way on God's green earth will my future MIL inherit my home! I could care less of what the world thinks. Lastly, what's this crap of bathing your kid naked. Does this person have a mental problem. Now, what if someone were to walk in. I am sure, you are a very nice person. Please, your house, your kingdom. Good luck. Mum in LA replied. Sonia,

you are so strong and i think asserting yourself is important not only for how you see yourself but how your kids & husband see you. a woman has the right to live and behave as she feels comfortable in her home. you are right about the bath issue, it's absurd and wrong. it may be difficult sometimes but standing up for yourself will make you feel it was worth it. over the next few years your il's will think twice before messing up with you !!...way to go !! parul replied. hi sonia,
i cant understand what these ladies think of themselves after if they have a son...my in laws dont like if i call my parents or keep any contact with them. according to them i should just forget my parents, how mean of them...
u should still consider urself lucky as ur husband slistens to u and doesnt mind if u speak rudely to them but my husband is a puppet of his mother and i have to face both of them...
parul Radha replied. Hi Sonia, not only u,every DIL is facing the same prob. So, pl dont worry abt it-remember ur behaviour will be noticed by your children. The best suggestion is to ignore them and whatever u want to say, say it thru ur hubby. But remember, dont exhibit your agony on before them. control urself and keep on with ur routines-u know 'Ignorance is the Best Punishment than anything'-'all the best'
Radha - (Pavitra's mother) Ronhitha's mother. replied. Be polite but firm in your ideals. Give short explanations when necessary. If she ignores you, continue to be polite and firm, and raise your voice only whenn it is absolutely necessary. You need to set an example of proper behavior for your children. As far as ccoking or cleaning,as long as she picks up after herself, let it go.