Hi.I' m a Indian Hindu girl married last year in Delhi & then went to UAE after marriage.My husband who is the only child of his over possessive parents sends them a major part of his monthly salary, who control his money like hell & are hypersensitive that I may stop him from sending money in future.I came to India in between and did further studies.My husband paid almost 50,000/- Rs. for my studies.Now I have found a job in the UAE.But now my husband & my in-laws are forcing me to also send them a big part of my own monthly income while I wish to financially support my own parents who are facing financial difficulties.This is causing tensions & my in-laws say that since my husband spent on my education,so only he & my in-laws have the right over my earnings.My husband says that if I support my parents,he will never spend money on me in future.I want to add that my husband holds a joint account with my father-in-law in India from where money was funded for my studies.
I want to know if I' m legally bound to send my monthly earnings to parent in-laws?What does the law say?Please advise.I' m sad.If we have any lawyers on this board,please advise.
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Hi.I' m a Indian Hindu girl married last year in Delhi & then went to UAE after marriage.My husband who is the only child of his over possessive parents sends them a major part of his monthly salary, who control his money like hell & are hypersensitive that I may stop him from sending money in future.I came to India in between and did further studies.My husband paid almost 50,000/- Rs. for my studies.Now I have found a job in the UAE.But now my husband & my in-laws are forcing me to also send them a big part of my own monthly income while I wish to financially support my own parents who are facing financial difficulties.This is causing tensions & my in-laws say that since my husband spent on my education,so only he & my in-laws have the right over my earnings.My husband says that if I support my parents,he will never spend money on me in future.I want to add that my husband holds a joint account with my father-in-law in India from where money was funded for my studies.
I want to know if I' m legally bound to send my monthly earnings to parent in-laws?What does the law say?Please advise.I' m sad.If we have any lawyers on this board,please advise.
anita replied. I can completly undrstand ur situation.Usually Indian mentality is like once gal gets married she is husbands and inlaws property..if u do any thing good they will say tht ur their daughter in law and if u do any hing bad they will curse parents..its happning every where and with every one..else this board would have been blank..even if u look aftr ur parents they will not respect ur parents in future they will always have blames on them tht they have enjoyed there daughter salary..this would nt have been a big issue if we lived in Western countries..So wat i sujjest u is dont tell them tht u will help ur parents ..tell them u need to save ur money for future andd u will return their bugs as others have sujjested..and u will also save for ur future..meanwhile u plan something for ur parents so tht u can help them as well as ur hubby will not cum to know about it..may be u can aply for loan and lend to ur parents and tell ur hubby tht ur saving ur money somewhere and u can pay instalments..Sometimes we have to lie for our own sake and for our parents who mean world to us..where as for inlaws and husbnds they treat them only like machine who gave birth and brought us up ..they think its very easy task where as we know how our parents equally strullegs to bring us up..
Ritika replied. I' m not a lawyer, but let me assure you that there is no court of law in India that will say that because yr husband/in-laws paid Rs 50,000 for your education, you no longer have a right over your own salary.
1) Your in-laws seem really greedy - Tell your husband that if you had taken a loan of Rs50,000 from a bank, would the bank be entitled to your entire salary for your entire life??? It sounds more like bondage labor mentality.
On another note, your parents funded your entire education uptil now. If yr husband and in-laws want to get all technical and take yr salary based on how much they spent on yr education - it should be part of the total package, shdnt it? So their monetary contribution in your overall education will be miniscule (we are talking of 15+ yrs of contribution by your parents and a few months contribution by yr husband).
2) If I were you, I would go ahead and send money to my parents if they need it. Your salary belongs to you first and foremost. Give back yr in-laws and husband their Rs 50,000 once you earn and save that amount.
As for your husband - tell him, that just like he wants to help out his parents, you would like to help out yours. If his own parents were in need, would he not help them?? or would he calculate how much they spend on his education and accordingly give money to them??
You will be earning life long. Why cannot he allow you to help out your parents for a few months/yrs?
Tell him that you will be spending money on his parents as well as your own. He can decide not to spend any money on you in future and that is his decision. But you will continue to love and support all of your family members - yours and his.
Rina replied. Prachi,
First and foremost get a job. I can not tell you enough how important mentally it is for you to be financially independent.
Once you have a job, tell your husband you will pay them back $ 50,000 plus interest for the money that they loaned you for education in installment.
Rest will be yours to be spend on your future (for your family that is your kids and your house. As far as supporting your parents, once you have income coming you can do that without giving out too much information to your inlaws and your husband. Tell your husband that 50,000 does not buy you long term working slave. You are thank ful for what they did for you and that' s it.
Once you have a job, you mind frame will change and you will get more strength to deal with your situation.
Rina replied. Prachi,
First and foremost get a job. I can not tell you enough how important mentally it is for you to be financially independent.
Once you have a job, tell your husband you will pay them back $ 50,000 plus interest for the money that they loaned you for education in installment.
Rest will be yours to be spend on your future (for your family that is your kids and your house. As far as supporting your parents, once you have income coming you can do that without giving out too much information to your inlaws and your husband. Tell your husband that 50,000 does not buy you long term working slave. You are thank ful for what they did for you and that' s it.
Once you have a job, you mind frame will change and you will get more strength to deal with your situation.
2007-12-03
#1
Name: anita Subject: advice
I can completly undrstand ur situation.Usually Indian mentality is like once gal gets married she is husbands and inlaws property..if u do any thing good they will say tht ur their daughter in law and if u do any hing bad they will curse parents..its happning every where and with every one..else this board would have been blank..even if u look aftr ur parents they will not respect ur parents in future they will always have blames on them tht they have enjoyed there daughter salary..this would nt have been a big issue if we lived in Western countries..So wat i sujjest u is dont tell them tht u will help ur parents ..tell them u need to save ur money for future andd u will return their bugs as others have sujjested..and u will also save for ur future..meanwhile u plan something for ur parents so tht u can help them as well as ur hubby will not cum to know about it..may be u can aply for loan and lend to ur parents and tell ur hubby tht ur saving ur money somewhere and u can pay instalments..Sometimes we have to lie for our own sake and for our parents who mean world to us..where as for inlaws and husbnds they treat them only like machine who gave birth and brought us up ..they think its very easy task where as we know how our parents equally strullegs to bring us up..
2007-12-03
#2
Name: Ritika Subject: Re:
I' m not a lawyer, but let me assure you that there is no court of law in India that will say that because yr husband/in-laws paid Rs 50,000 for your education, you no longer have a right over your own salary.
1) Your in-laws seem really greedy - Tell your husband that if you had taken a loan of Rs50,000 from a bank, would the bank be entitled to your entire salary for your entire life??? It sounds more like bondage labor mentality.
On another note, your parents funded your entire education uptil now. If yr husband and in-laws want to get all technical and take yr salary based on how much they spent on yr education - it should be part of the total package, shdnt it? So their monetary contribution in your overall education will be miniscule (we are talking of 15+ yrs of contribution by your parents and a few months contribution by yr husband).
2) If I were you, I would go ahead and send money to my parents if they need it. Your salary belongs to you first and foremost. Give back yr in-laws and husband their Rs 50,000 once you earn and save that amount.
As for your husband - tell him, that just like he wants to help out his parents, you would like to help out yours. If his own parents were in need, would he not help them?? or would he calculate how much they spend on his education and accordingly give money to them??
You will be earning life long. Why cannot he allow you to help out your parents for a few months/yrs?
Tell him that you will be spending money on his parents as well as your own. He can decide not to spend any money on you in future and that is his decision. But you will continue to love and support all of your family members - yours and his.
2007-12-03
#3
Name: Rina Subject: Financial Obligation
Prachi,
First and foremost get a job. I can not tell you enough how important mentally it is for you to be financially independent.
Once you have a job, tell your husband you will pay them back $ 50,000 plus interest for the money that they loaned you for education in installment.
Rest will be yours to be spend on your future (for your family that is your kids and your house. As far as supporting your parents, once you have income coming you can do that without giving out too much information to your inlaws and your husband. Tell your husband that 50,000 does not buy you long term working slave. You are thank ful for what they did for you and that' s it.
Once you have a job, you mind frame will change and you will get more strength to deal with your situation.
2007-12-03
#4
Name: Rina Subject: Financial Obligation
Prachi,
First and foremost get a job. I can not tell you enough how important mentally it is for you to be financially independent.
Once you have a job, tell your husband you will pay them back $ 50,000 plus interest for the money that they loaned you for education in installment.
Rest will be yours to be spend on your future (for your family that is your kids and your house. As far as supporting your parents, once you have income coming you can do that without giving out too much information to your inlaws and your husband. Tell your husband that 50,000 does not buy you long term working slave. You are thank ful for what they did for you and that' s it.
Once you have a job, you mind frame will change and you will get more strength to deal with your situation.
All tips on Parents of Schoolgoers
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& Answers to Topic : My poor parents & I´ m helpless!!
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& Answers to Topic : My poor parents & I´ m helpless!!
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& Answers to Topic : My poor parents & I´ m helpless!!
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