Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hello friends,
My mil is very very rude person and dominating also.Se hurts me a lot and alwys says tht its her nature to be frank ..she never took proper care of her mil but now expects me to take care of her..She wnt to stay fit by excercising and all but wen it comes to household work she takes her hand back..she does help me in household work but she is very moody she will work only if she feels like else she will find all the ways to escape from cooking and cleaning part if for some reason im at home then most of the times im expected to cook and she will holiday.my fil was very very selfish in money matters he hardly took care of her mother wen she was ill they have 101 reasons to state there pparents mistakes and wen it comes to there part they wnt there son to always keep pupets shows go on..they keep calling him they shuld be infromed for evry lil thing we do..we have to have there permision for evry planing as if we r not husbnd n wife we r dating each othr..i also have kid i undrsnd parents feelings but i cannot interfere in my kid activities always ,though she is very young i feel tht she has to be given privacy i shuld alwys be available to help her wen she cumes to me..i dont like to be tohse nagging kinds..My mil takes good care of my kid but wen im bak home aftr work she will becom least bothrd i mange most of the times but wen im extremly tied i get frustated but i keep quite..i had many ups and downs aftr marraige my life was helll wih my mil my husbnd was supportive but i can see the transformation in him now slowly by becoming less supportive towrds me ..he is taking me for granted and treating his parents as if they r bigg treasure bin and i m big garbage bin..due to some of our past quarrrels we separted and we faced many diffficulties and i couldnt help him out in any ways i was a burden for him all those experiences put togethr he has very bad impression of me..and wen he thinks of his parents he feels tht he is more secured with them as they r financially indpendent and they love him lot..though i love him more than myself my love is neverrrr recognized. Namita replied. my situation is much similar to urs in IL' s case ... my FIL is also money minded and selfish, they are financially strong, they have not taken care of my FIL' s mother, they say she was not good .... jst yest. i told my husand that this lady didnt stay peacefully with her MIL and now she is doing same with me, wht type of lady she is and always boosting herself .... my ILs didnt take care of my FIl' s Mother and now my MIL expects so much from her son ... they have money still they want all that we earn, they are miser ..... my IL' s are finnacially very very good so they hav this ego that they dnt need us for anything bt expects everything :) ... u take care of ur realtion ... i hve faced bad days .... u win ur husands heart n then u vl b happy gg replied. i think ritika..n namita has given u very good suggestions....
evn i feel the same thing...
my mil too..no matter how much she treats me badly but she takes good care of my daughter ..but once i enter home...or sat / sun she donest touch her now..initally she wudnt let me touch my daughter...not its either way..i manage since i hv so many people at home... Namita replied. follow wht ritika said .... no matter if he fights, abuses u ... dnt say a word that time bt afterward attimes it takes days to settle ... after that u nicely tell him tht u were hurt with his words, if he is angry ask him to scold u bt limit his words .. slowly everythign will vanish ... it take lots of time .... dnt fight .... love ur husband, so tht he shud feel secure in marriage and then see the miracle Ritika replied. Stop asking your MIL to help. Ask your husband to help with the kid.

As for cooking and all, keep a maid. Tell your husband (when he is in a good mood and happy with you), that just as he' s tired after a hard day' s work in office, you also are tired. So you are planning to keep a maid.

If your MIL opposes, then tell her that you have only one body and 2 hands and you are getting stressed out taking care of office and home. And add that you are also being frank with her.

Rudeness ke aage chup rahogi to they' ll eat you up. Stand up to them.

Go and have fun with your husband. Develop happy memories with him. Try to forget the bad memories of the past...you have yr whole life to live...when yr husband will find that he is happy when he' s with you, he' ll start supporting you more...and won' t mind it if you reply back to his mom now and then. Chandra replied. anita..my problem is very close to yours. me and my husband fought a lot initially in our first mths of marriage. his parents got involved...he told them all these bad things of me, his dad wanted me to go back to my parents house for awhile to separate us. but i refused to go back. what face was i going to go back with?? my husband never once told his parents to stop, never once said she' s not going anywhere. i stood my ground and told them i was going to live with the inlaws..if they didnt want me living with their son.
now HE gets frustrated and angry at ME because we arent living together. he has changed a lot..and now i dont even have the energy to love him the same way..he' s getting a little better....but im turned off because of the way he was, couldnt stand up to his dad even though im his wife...its very disheartening anita replied. ..\" due to some of our past quarrrels we separted and we faced many diffficulties and i couldnt help him out in any ways i was a burden for him all those experiences put togethr he has very bad impression of me.\" Me and my husband moved away aftr fights at our place in past but things got settletd are we r living togethr.He remembrs those days wen we were living separtly from his parents and some times takes out frustration rembring those days.. anita replied. hi,
i have been silent reader of this post for quite long time..im very much familiar with most of u..i live with my inlaws we r living together..for some purpose my inlaws r out of station..but i nevr feel there absence they will be back soon.. gg replied. hey guys ..one more mil like us....hi anita we too hv mil like u...
lol...can u tell me are u seperated from ur husband ...? what is it? i ddnt follow that...do u live seprate?
what it is?