Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I am married since last 1 and half year, my in-laws are good to me. The problem comes when there is difference in their behaviour between me and my sis-in-law. Acc. to my hubby this behaviour is since they were child, as my husband never took interest in there chit chatting n was always busy studying so his mother was always close to his sisters and have pampered a lot the youngest sister.

Now the problem is my M-I-L is otherwise normal ... i m saying normal b' coz though she never sits and chats with me bcoz i tend to discuss the general topic with her whereas they are never interested in such topic they always speak with each other abt there uncle, aunty and other relatives (whoes food is not good, whoes behaviour is not good etc.. Even i have found my M-I-L and F-I-L discussing about only and only this craps or about money (i have spend so much u give me this much etc. (IRRITATING) and this topic are of no interest to me.

My M-I-L expects that i should make ladoos, masala etc. after coming home from office or do cleaning in the morning before leaving (we dont have servant), but she will never ever ask her daughter to do anything even if she is sitting ideal at home. I do the regular cleaning daily in the morning but expecting to clean the furniture is too much. My office is close by to my home but that doesnt me that i should only work and work and work. Tough she never ask me directly to do anything but as soon as i reach home she will start making ladoos etc. and sometims she will also say that people should take interst in cleaning bla bla ...

Senondly, whenever they get evening snacks they never ask me, they will ask her daughter and son (sometimes dont even ask her son, very smartly they will get it for daughter and ask her to eat it) sometimes she asks me to eat some part from her dish or never gives me. And I and my husband feels bad.

Even when they get snacks they never even tell us... as if it is only for her daughter, even when my hubby ask that i want something to eat with tea even then she will say nothing is there whereas they hide it under the sofa or in drawers. PATHETIC.

Even if i am not well she expects me to do the household work of cleaning. It had happened once that i was having high fever and did all work (in cooking she takes major roel and i become helper) whereas my S-I L and M-I-L were sitting ideally.

So my husband have decided to stay seperately, earlier i was against this but now even i felt its better to stay seperate rather than waiting till things go bitter.

Now at times I get confused that is it right to stay sperately for this reasons (there are more) or should i adjust with it?

We are getting seperate but the reason we have given them is travelling is too hectic for my hubby, and we have found a house near to his office. So we can stay seperate without raising any fights.
SR replied. This is a damn good idea .. well done.
I am happy your husband agreed to move out. Normally it is quite a tough job to convince them.
All the best of luck in your new home. sonu replied. hi Namita

I think u have made the right decision to move out before it gets worse.
Ur mil is obviously treating u differently then her own daughter which is completly normal for them to do so...my mil does the same...she can sit on the fone and talk for hours to her daughter about the world but with me all she says is hows the weather...lol...They never change and one day things will get so bad that either u or ur husband will say smthing so best before that happends u guys move out and live ur life. U will always be there for them but best to have ur own space when the treatment is not right where u are staying at the moment.

Hope i helped take care