Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I'm in a difficult situation, I *really* don't get along with my in-laws, for too many reasons to list here but I can sum it up by saying they are overbearing and don't respect any type of privacy and individuality. Thanksfully the live 2000 miles away so visits are few. However, my wife and I have had a baby recently, and now the mother in law wants to come and stay for 3 months. She's already seen the babay and was here for a month when he was born, but I just can't handle 3 months. I'll go insane. She says she'll rent an apartment. Saying that she'll take the baby everyday. I don't want that, I don't want this situation at all, at the same time, I have to think about how my wife feels wanting her mother to spend time with the baby. Please, does anyone have advice? Questions and comments welcome...

anisha replied. Hi,
When i read towards the end u were scottish...i said...ahhh..that explains.

Let me start from the begining....when a girl has a baby in India she normally has it at her mom's place...basically so that she can be pampered and given time to recover. Things have changed over the years and specially for indian families living abroad. When u have a baby here..u'r mom comes and stays with u and helps u in the first couple of months. Eg: My mom came for 2 monthes and one of my friends mom came for 6 monthes(ok...don't faint yet). But basically it is justa support system. Does your wife feel that she needs her mom cause it is difficult to know what to do or is it that she simply wants her mom to spend time with the baby. If the later is the case, maybe u can explain that the baby would benefit more when he/she is bigger and will remember the grandparents more. Or the simple solution let u'r wife go visit her mom for a month or 2. Trust me we all girls do that. The first time i went to stay with my parents i went for 3 monthes..that is different we missed each other so much that we decied that i will only go for 1 month next time.

anyway..all the best!
vs replied. I am impressed that a man cares for his wife's feelings this much. Are you sure you are an Indian? Anyway, for yur problem, talk to your wife and tell her that you would be uncomfortable with your inlaws staying that long and that for the long term good of your-inlaws relationship it is better if they limit their stay to a few days. If your wife wants to spend some time with her parents she can visit them. I am sure they would love to have her over for some time. Maybe you may also have a change of heart in her absence.