Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I have two daughters, ages 7 and 9. My 7 year old is very outgoing, happy, helpful to other kids, and a \";team player\"; when it comes to sports and games. On the other hand, my 9 year old is pessimistic, she pouts and gets angry if she is not winning at the game or sport and will often quit before the end of the game/sport. My younger daugher and I have both tried to encourage my older daughter, but she is stubborn and just pouts and says she is a loser. How can I help my older daughter increase her self confidence and gain a better attitude towards sports and games? Rashmi replied. Maybe she is seeking attention (unknowingly ofcourse) Sometimes children do negative things to get attention. When she sees the younger one getting a lot of attention, she might just be self deprecating so that she can hear you say things like \";Dont talk like that. You are also good\"; etc. It might be her way of seeking approval and love. It is probably comforting for her to get your pep talk.

Of course these are just my thoughts. I could be totally wrong.

I would suggest to not fuss over her failures. If she pouts or shows an attitude, send her to her room and ask her to cool down. Instead try and find something good abt her to praise. Even a small gesture can be praised. \";thankyou, it was nice of you to do this\";. But also dont be insincere in your praise. A nine year old is smart enough to know if you are just acting... so dont go all \";Wow that was wonderful\"; for every little thing.

This will take time. But persist for some time.
- Dont fuss over failures. Just say \";Its OK. Failure is a part of life\";
- Dont accept bad behaviour. Let her not make excuses for bad behaviour. If she continues to behave badly, she should see some form of disciplining.
- Encourage her to try out various things, she might find something she is good at
- Find things to praise about her.
poorni replied. hi da
nothing to worry. she is older anyway so she is getting tensed and all. being her older sis i cant win that problem arises in her mind.
some will praise ur younger daughter infront of her i think. happens.
find out her talent and tell her everyobe has the talent they will shine on that. definitely she will change. being her loving mother u are the responsible one to change her behavoiur. speak with her lot. spend time with her son compare her to anyone.