Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi all,
i´ m going through some major confusions in my life which i´ m not able to understand.i was a silent observer of this site all these days.i saw how nicely people help each other in solving their problems.i hope u´ ll all help me too......
i was in love with one of my friend since childhood.from a very young age i loved him & i knew that he loved me too by all his gestures.but unfortunately i didnt have the guts to speak abt it to him & he also never expressed his feelings for me. so i thought he doesnt love me & got married to the person whom my parents found for me. i´ ve always been loyal to my husband & i´ ll always be loyal to him.
now coming to my problem, i just dont get any feelings when i have sex wid my hubby. i dont feel anything when he comes closer to me, touch or kiss me. i´ m married for 3 years. all these years i´ m just pretending that i get aroused by his touch & i´ m enjoying sex, but in reality that has never happened.
the guy whom i used to love, even if he used to come closer to me, sit beside me or just touch my hand by mistake my heart used to beat so fast. my heart used to ache for his touch, to get a hug from him. but same thing is not happng wid my hubby. i can never feel his touch. never enjoyed sex with him. i really like my hubby & care for him a lot. i dont want to hurt him in any way.i dont know why this is happening? i am not able to understand this. could u all plz help me. plz tell me why this is happening with me? plz give a solution to my problem? what shld i do to get closer to my hubby?
even now my heart only aches for a touch from my previous love. i have never done anything outside my marriage. i´ m trying hard to control, but still i´ m not able to forget my 1st love. i need help. plz tell me whats going on wid me & what shld i do to solve this problem? garima replied. Reading your post like reading my experience.we never proposed to each other but we knew we were in love.Its been 6+years now and he is still single.before marr...I had not spoken to hom much and after marr no contact.I dont want to go for an EMA....I have kids ...most of the time goes behind them..but when I am alone or sad I think about him.want to tell him pl settle down...the song from Janemann\" sau dard hai......ek tu hi nahi mila...Jist of my life.. I have got everything but him. similar replied. riya its just six mnths think of me its been 5yrs now .....i can still feel his presence around me ...wat to do ..i myself dont know ..just breathing ..i know this is not life but i cant help ..no body can help ..just living with all those memories i have of him and trying to be a good wife ....but have one desire to get intimate with him oncea nd for all....i dont know why may be just a virtual desire.
bye similar replied. hi riya,
reading ur post i felt like i m reading some thing similar happening in my life may be wat i feel for him is lust but my bodyreally craves for him .i know he is married i m married too ahve a kid also but still .i can feel histouch ,his vice still echo inmy eras the way he used to laugh use to take my name used to get angry from me etc etc.... i really sometimes find me searching all these things in my hubby and when in bed with him i find myself imagining my bf in my hubby.

sometimes we know the things arewrong but somehow we cant help ourselves.

i really wanno feel the same for my hubby but just cant find the way....
sr replied. I agree with Tony S.
Do try and bring spark to your marriage by doin special things for your husband like candle lit dinners..bubble baths together...candles in the bedroom...sensual massages for each other.... and it should help spark things up... get sex toys too... be adventurous... etc etc..

All the best Tony S replied. Dear Riya,
What u r feeling for your BF is only lust, not love. U r so lucky to have such a good husband - see his heart , clearly without even once thinking about your bf and u will realise that actually u r in love with your husband but do not want to accept it for the simple reason that u loved your bf' s touch. Now that is not fair, ok ? u should be fully focussed on your and your hubby' s life together - your future together, your sorrows & joys and ups and downs. Tell your husband what u like in love making. I am sure if he is understanding he will do what u like and eventually your past feelings with your bf will fizzle out. Remember the film Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam ? - See it again and u will find the difference in your perspective. all the best.