Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi all,
i'm so tensed. life seems so overwelming for me. here people come up with inlaws problem .i too suffered a lot from my inlaws & trying to cope up with that,but additional to that i have my own people troubling me.here on this board, there r such wonderful people who help others out.i hope to receive the same kind of help from u all...
now coming to my problem.my relatives have been a major problem in my life from my childhood.they r also very jealous people.they always have interfered in my life & they r continuing to do the same thing even after my marriage.because of this my hubby is getting pissed with me & this is spoiling our relationship.and moreover their expectations r so high that it is impossible for me to fullfill them.when ever i go to India,they expect very expensive gifts from me.i generally take normal gifts for them like watches, perfumes, chocolates etc, but they make faces at me & see those gifts in such a bad manner as though i've got all of them for free or were lying on the road. they always keep asking me to sponser for them & get them to US.things r so expensive here.when we ourselves r suffering so much,how can we fulfil what they ask for.they r not even my parents.they r my relatives( my dad's sisters).they r so jealous of me especially after i got married.they hurt me with harsh words when ever i speak to them. i just cant bear to see their eyes.they r so jealous that is seen in their eyes which tortures me.moreover they keep asking me very personal & intruding questions like whatz my hubby's salary,whats our house budjet, expenses etc.they cant bear to see me in US.so they always ask me when we r coming back to India permanently & they literally force me to move to India.my hubby is getting annoyed bcoz of all these things.he shouts at me telling that my relatives r so interfering. i lost my mom at a very young age.so no mom's support. my dad cant see their mistakes at all as they r his sisters.so cant expect any help from him.i have tried telling my dad abt this but he doesnt care.regarding me, i've always been a very soft & a polite girl.i've never fought with anyone & i dont have the guts to back answer or fight with them.
i dont even want to look at their faces,but when i go to India i have to meet them.they r least interested in me, but i have to meet them just to here all thier hurting words.if i dont go they create a big scene.i never want to hurt anyone. i always try my best to be good & please everyone.in spite of it people r being really mean to me.
all these days i was a silent observer of this board.this is the 1st time i'm writing here.hope to receive help from u all.can u plz tell me how to handle them? how shld i give them the message not to interfere in my life & not to ill treat me anymore?i really need to maintain privacy & my own preferences in life, but thats not happening.plz plz tell me how to tackle them? i really want to convey to them that they need to respect me.their nonsense is not tolerated anymore,but i dont know how to do it. plz need ur help.i've lost my peace of mind.cant take it anymore.any help is highly appreciated.thank u all...... cheetu replied. First of all it must sink into you that you are really \" MARRIED\" and out of your family for good . Your life now consists of you , your husband and your future kids and really NOT ANYBODY ELSE.
If you honestly realise these things, you have solved your problem .
I have been through the same and i took advantage of the fact that i am married and got out of the relatives mess because i feel i am the queen now and i make the rules in \" my family\" ..and i will not alow a damn thing to interfere Teena replied. Hi Siya..
I was really hurt when i read that inspite of your good attitude towards them they r treating you in that way..Firstly i would advise you not to ignore them or escape..Secondly i sujjest you not to buy any gifts as they dont respect your gifts..Dont involve your hubby in this matter as it seems tht he gets irritated when u raise the topic..Tell them that you are planning to buy new car and apartment in US so all your money is in your savings and fixed deposits..Let them be more jealous of you aand mean while you enjoy the way they get jealous of you..All the time you keep on telling to them that you will get them wonderful gifts which they deserve..very soon..Good Luck