Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I suffered a lot under my parents-in-law (as my husband was posted in gulf he could not help me much at that time). My parents in law pounded my self respect and made me to over work. However my brother-in-laws wife had good parental support and her husband listened to her (besides he earned very handsomely). The behaviour of my p-i-l was different toward my co-sister. They appreaciated her and idiolised her even for the most insignificant reason. I developed depression. Atlast my p-i-l have expired and I am now living with my husband peacefully. I took it up in my hand to call up my brother-in-law to keep up the family unity intact. Whenever he visits us it is I who take up the initiative to talk to him and his wife so that the link is not broken. However he keeps his relationship with just my husband and our children but does not even speak except 'hi-bye'. I feel I am doing mistake in taking initiative in keeping the relationship which should be from both sides (after all I went into my husband's family, it is their responsibility also to keep the ties). However my husband's relationship with this b-i-l's wife is smooth. They chat,laugh etc. I am in depression. Am I cheap. How do I deal with this problem. Married ladies similar problem need to advise. tejmom replied. dear friend, you should be happy that he is not talking to u. you are definitely not a loser. if you keep making initiatives and he keeps ignoring u, u might become low on his eyes. you too behave as though you r not interested in having their relationship and also give a dirty look to your bil and your co sis, so that they understand you can also be tough. but keep your child under your control. shower your love and affection to them, so that they dont say i like only daddy. this happens in many houses.dont encourage them to come to your house. what is the point in uniting your family when they treat u like dust. ignore them before they ignore u, u will start feeling good. goodluck!!! d replied. hey i understand how u feel.dont take it upon yourself to keep family intact.it shud be both ways.they are just taking advantage of your goodness.
il's are one such category where u shudnt be the nly one doing everthing be it physical and emotional.it will drain u out.just keep minimalconversation or contact. in that way u will not be stressed.you have been thru a lot .you need some confidence building.dont devote too much time to think about in laws and keeping relationship .now u shud think about yourself .take up a job or study something .in that way your mind is occupied and u will come out of being depressed.try it .post back.