Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Before reading posts from this forum i used to think that only bahus in india faces such probs but now i can see that even NRI sons donot behave rationally.Why cant they handle both parents and wife . Everyone expect us to be understading & caring from the very first day.

Divorce is not a solution but till when one can do one sided efforts.I hv also gone thru all this 5years back..Slowly changed many things in my life with the help of my parents and God.But today also if i want to discuss any of my prob related to IL, my husband will intitially negelects the issue & then gets very angry.
I also do not share any of my prob with my friends as it will put a bad image of our family and no solution will come out.After 5 yrs also when i hv md a small place for myself...i hv to call his mother
every week ...we hv nothing to talk abt but just to satisfy my hubby's ego or else he had a answer to
why none of my IL side takes care of me...jabki woh log kabhi ph nahin karte aur apne business development bhi nahin batate...It took me appx 3-4 yrs to bring those little changes..still sometime i feel tht all efforts r waste. They provide us food and shelter and think they r doing a gr8 job as we were homelss before.But today i hv made place from whr i can atleast ans him bck if he's wrong.Aur bahut kuch apni marzi se bhi karti hoon...but yes his root thots r still the same(tht a perfect HW shld tk care of husband and IL listens to whatever they,never ans bck,perform her daily duties,)...i try not to provoke them.I dont understand why they marry an educated girl ..to mk her dumb women.

Teena i feel u should try whatever is possible for u to make the marriage work but u cant just dump urself into this marriage becos u love ur hubby.Love is worthless without respect so if he doesnt change and keeps hitting u ...just leave him ....I m telling u with my own exp. Go bck to india ...if he realizes later tht u r imp to him in any way..he will try to sortout the situation.Jab tak use tumhari imp ka ahsaas nahin hoga...he'll not change.Beating is totally illegal..dont let him do...His startegy is to cut ur feather before they grow.

U may find me negetive but i m not trying to demotivate u....u can definately bring sm changes in ur life ...wht i m trying to say dont expect too much from such a clever husband. He might change a bit but still will remain the same whn his parents r concerned.
If u want to bring changes as everyone said Start from small things....
brings something for urself ,him or for ur house....
Dress urself whatever u want.
As u told, call ur mother...its very imp....may be someday just make a call behind him.
No need to be afraid of anyone...wht worst they can do.
Save sm (maybe very small) amt for urself.

Anyway i'll keep reading abt ur progress...All The Very Best.Hope u get success in saving ur marriage.... di bh replied. Hey my Fil told me on the phone that becoz of you my son is losing all the money so better u go back to your parents. I live in US.When my husband and me were temporarily separated he said so.So i told him in that case u shud not have agreed to your son getting married. talk about in laws and their stupid talk.i am married for 4 yrs . and all along i thot i was no expense to my husband.So according to my fil's talk no man shud get married as wife is an expense. why didnt he do the same and not get married and in turn not let his daughter marry.
I still remember thsi conversation and laugh. replied. They provide us food and shelter and think they r doing a gr8 job as we were homelss before.

Yes Yes. My ils always tell that \" Dont we give you food and shelter\" . Poor me. I thought I was from a well to do family, but might be I am wrong. Might be I look like a beggar to my ils.