Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi i am married 1.5 year ago.my inlaws made fuss with dowry matter made his son believe that my parents are wrong.but the fact is my parents gave more than what they told will give.my hubby he cleverly escapes saying talk all those matters to my parents and his parents points are ultimate even though they lie.my parents were badly hurt by their behavior .becz of their behavior i boil inside. in the begining i used to open up each and every issue before my husband which is all waste he supports them only.one more point in my sil and family stays with mil(my house ).now they have business we send all money my hubby earns to fil he takes care of all money .i have a doubt he is making
some money for his daughter by doing real estate business and they do it in such a way that my hubby feels that his father is working for us.i am unable to make my hubby know that.right now i am not thinkin of money at all becz i cant do anything.now situation is i dont talk to my inlaws ,my hubby he doesnt talk to my parents .i wasnt talking from 2 months becz anyway inlaws r making me bad so i thougt if i dont talk to them i will have only a bad point that she doesnt care us. recently now the situation is even mil sister ,sil ,and sil hubby r also not even asking
me i know my mil she is makin some fuss saying one thing or other.i feel really bad my sil and family staying in my house and dominating me .my hubby he doesnt even feel bad if they ask me or not.(not only now from begining).if i talk to them or hear them i am getting angry i dont know how to deal with so please give me some tips to turn my hubby to my side is it possible .i have a brother he is coming abroad for his masters i feel like helping him bur i know i cant do with his fees as i am not working but ifeel like sending a laptop for him as it would be useful.idont know whether i am wishing too much.my parents said u never ask anything for us .i should ask my husband for the laptop.what i shd do plz suggest frnds. di bh replied. Hey glad to know it helped. Hey we dont know much about husband;s relatives .Its our in laws word there all over. How much ever we try we cant convince their relatives to like us if in laws have created bad vibes about us there.
And moreover lets think for once in laws are telling bad about us to their relatives. what are relatives they are just spectators they will listen to whatever they say and gossip about it. dont u think it will create a bad impression about in laws in the relatives eyes. Before even i used to worry when my in laws badmouthed about me to their relatives .then after thinking slowly i thought they are insulting themselves doing that. What will they think oh what in laws they are bad mouthing their own dil what good are these people .Isnt it. Its not our insult. Its in laws insult only.

The feeling or newly married is precious dont waste it on such people. enjoy this time with your husband and create warm memories and maybe after 2-3 yrs u will think back and say that was a good time for me.Best of luck. di bh replied. Hey nice to know it helped.Dont worry too much and enjoy your time alone.And u can gift your brother what you wish see the circumstance and do so. if your hubby says no dont worry too much think that u can do what u want when u earn. I do the same. My husband most of the times says no to what i want say a pair of jeans or a nice top. but nowadays i have learnt to think i will earn and then buy.
Are you in US.?Can u work?I am on h4 here and cannot earn but shortly i will be getting my work permit so i dont bother about my in laws mean mind and my husband favoring them .best of luck and do reply. di bh replied. hey dont worry too much. its a common thing in in laws supporting SIL neglecting DIL.son not saying anything. be happy as you are far from them .No need of to see them everyday and have fights day in and day out. Enjoy the time you have alone with your husband. It is not necessary for sils to remain in in laws house for in laws to favor her. they dont need a reason to support their daughter and hate dils.accept the fact. as you cant change it. I am also in same situation. only thing is my husband is very detached from his family and they dont call often or he usually doesnt call.
Only thing is dont let ILS dominate you without reason.. You shud set the terms in the begining only. So they will know what to expect from us.otherwise they will thing its wise to push you around. dont give them that idea. I let them push me around for 3 yrs. I dont stay with them. was saying yes to whatever they said as i didnt want any fights. but the last time i gave them back. and told them not to talk like that to me.I was surprised when my husband didnt oppose me or favor them. I did this on the phone.So when i meet my in laws i am not scared how my husband will react if i fight with them. But my husband favors his sister a lot. Over the yrs i ahve learnt to neglect that and tell my husband not to bring her in our marriage.
Dont worry if your in laws dont talk to u . what will they say . The usual complaints this and that .that u can live without so u will be happy if u dont insist to talk to them. even i dont talk to my in laws and sil. But they dont let it go ask for my husband to talk to me and talk at length to come back to india and to convince my husband and give examples of relatives who came back. So nowadays i tell my husband tell them she has gone outside or sleeping. If he says she is sleeping my in laws say wake her up . So now my husband says she has gone out.Relax and enjoy your time with your husband. dont worry about these petty things. best of luck.