Role of in-laws:Do anyone of u know y ur mil hates u?
2006-10-24
Name: rashmi
hi all,
I dont know y my mil hates me. I was 21 when I got married & i used to like her. She did so many manipulative things then & i never usedto get it. Now, i know that she did those things deliberately to hurt me. But the big Question is y? I can't think of anything wrong from my side i swear. Do any of u out there know y ur mil hates u? Letm me know if u know
thanks
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Reply Anonymously
hi all,
I dont know y my mil hates me. I was 21 when I got married & i used to like her. She did so many manipulative things then & i never usedto get it. Now, i know that she did those things deliberately to hurt me. But the big Question is y? I can't think of anything wrong from my side i swear. Do any of u out there know y ur mil hates u? Letm me know if u know
thanks
Priti replied. I think anu sums it all up. I like her. but now I have this hate towards her i can't wash off. I respect & care for her for being mother of my husband and for her age. but aside from that I don't care what she says or does. Reason being, she manipulates, hides, lies, creates drama, yells at everyone expect her son, she takes things from my house without telling me (which i would have given happily if she had even hinted that she liked something). but she chooses to steal behind my back. Why would i care what such a person thinks of me and how can i like her, even if i try to I just want to look away from her. I get depressed just because of this. I have never hated someone so much in my life and never want to. I wished i could wash off all the negative things i have in my mind about her and like her.
anu replied. Parampara ... mindset -
For ages and ages, it is being told that when a bahu comes, how bad she will be
Insecurity feeling -
You have an equal, perhaps more than that, control and right over her son. Her son - for whom she has done so much, whom she loved so much till this time, now prefers to spend time with someone else.
Rule-
She was ruling the family, now there is another stakeholder and controller. \" I am losing power\" fear.
Most Typical Indian family elders (apologies) dont hv the common sense that when they are expecting a woman to cook, take care of house, take care of kids, feed the in-laws, welcome guests -how can such a person live without any control on the house? Age of puppests is gone. Time for them to wake up.
Difference in family cultures, upbringing and processes -
I feel my inlaws are dirty. I dont like their processes, the way they make roti, the way they keep dirty belan .... my mother has taught me to stay clean & keep house clean. Her daughter is like her, her MIL hates that :)
Thus different processes embedded in us impact mindset.
- You can still win over a person by being v v v good to her, do as she says, know her weaknesses and use them, etc.
But .. do u really want to?
I dont.
So I care damn :)
heheheh
anu
2006-10-28
#1
Name: Priti Subject: anu is right
I think anu sums it all up. I like her. but now I have this hate towards her i can't wash off. I respect & care for her for being mother of my husband and for her age. but aside from that I don't care what she says or does. Reason being, she manipulates, hides, lies, creates drama, yells at everyone expect her son, she takes things from my house without telling me (which i would have given happily if she had even hinted that she liked something). but she chooses to steal behind my back. Why would i care what such a person thinks of me and how can i like her, even if i try to I just want to look away from her. I get depressed just because of this. I have never hated someone so much in my life and never want to. I wished i could wash off all the negative things i have in my mind about her and like her.
2006-10-25
#2
Name: anu Subject: they hate us just for the heck of it
Parampara ... mindset -
For ages and ages, it is being told that when a bahu comes, how bad she will be
Insecurity feeling -
You have an equal, perhaps more than that, control and right over her son. Her son - for whom she has done so much, whom she loved so much till this time, now prefers to spend time with someone else.
Rule-
She was ruling the family, now there is another stakeholder and controller. \" I am losing power\" fear.
Most Typical Indian family elders (apologies) dont hv the common sense that when they are expecting a woman to cook, take care of house, take care of kids, feed the in-laws, welcome guests -how can such a person live without any control on the house? Age of puppests is gone. Time for them to wake up.
Difference in family cultures, upbringing and processes -
I feel my inlaws are dirty. I dont like their processes, the way they make roti, the way they keep dirty belan .... my mother has taught me to stay clean & keep house clean. Her daughter is like her, her MIL hates that :)
Thus different processes embedded in us impact mindset.
- You can still win over a person by being v v v good to her, do as she says, know her weaknesses and use them, etc.
But .. do u really want to?
I dont.
So I care damn :)
heheheh
anu
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& Answers to Topic : Do anyone of u know y ur mil hates u?
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& Answers to Topic : Do anyone of u know y ur mil hates u?
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anu is right
they hate us just for the heck of it
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