Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

The day before i delivered my son, my dad met with a serious accident. I delivered the next day in great pain (both physical and emotional)inspite of practising breathing exercises and doing all the right things during my pregnancy.
it was a normal delivery.
I delivered in a small maternity home of great reputation ( of 25 years). My baby was only 6 pounds, bu healthy otherwise. After my delivery in the afternoon, no one brought the baby to me in the evening for breatfeeding.
I consulted the doctor the next day on her rounds. She told me that milk will come only after 3 days. Even the midwives and nurses on duty said the same thing.
One of them tried putting my baby to my breast ( it was so painful i screamed), but he wudnt suck. My breats felt dry to me.
All this while, my son was fed on formula milk using bottle at the hospital.
I left the hospital after 2 days instead of staying there for the normal 10 days.

I started breastfeeding at home on the 3rd day.
But the milk was never enough for my baby. I had to use bottle for him ever since

Where did i go wrong? Was it my shock and trauma which hampered my milk supply?

i was eating very well and was taking all kinds of native stuff given in indian households to enhance milk production.

I consulted a pediatrician who asked me to stop bottle immediately, but try as i might, i cud never fulfill my baby at my breast. He wudnt setlle until i gave him formula feed.

I went thru hell with my inlaws accusing my mother and me of telling lies. They were very upset with me for giving him bottle. they absolutely refused to believe anything.

with the situation i went thru with my father's condition and my state, its a wonder how i braved thru it all.

i also feel i was undergoing mild Post natal depression. i felt helpless and alone. I never felt connected to my baby in the inital months.

i feel as though i have been wronged and the best moments of my life have been turned into the worst moments

please advice me k.radha replied. The problem was that you started compliment feeding before establishing your milk supply fully. Hold off on using the bottle next time just like you were told by your doctor. Many babies are unsettled initially but when you add in-law upset to the mix it does increase stress levels which can affect your supply. But from what you've posted it is really just that your supply was never allowed to establish properly. You didn't go wrong in anyway, you love your baby and felt you did what was best. How is that wrong? Keep being a good mum! priya replied. You didnt go wrong anywhere! I ate only healthy stuff ..loads of fruits and veggies and everything during my pregnancy . But I too didnt have enough milk . Milk stopped by 2nd month. So what ?? My Son is 3 years now ...much stronger or equally strong as any breast fed baby !
So dont worry ! Breastfeeding is the first choice but for some mothers there is not enough milk .. then there is nothing wrong in formula feeding. Doctors dont advise bottles as its prone to lots of infections like vomitting.. upset stomach etc if bottles are not cleaned properly . But you may avoid it by having 3 to 4 bottles and steralising after every use. But if you still have milk supply .. keep putting ur baby on breast for suckling . Bcoz unless your baby suckles you will not produce new milk. Then for the remaining , give him formula.
Regarding connecting with baby .. that is natural ... Many ppl including me didnt connect from day one. Sudden changes in our body .. post natal depression .. sleepless nights in case your baby wakes up too often makes you feel down !
Sometimes you many also wonder how good life was before baby .. Relax .. nothing to feel guilty .. As and how your lil one grows and starts responding .. you will start to bond with ur baby !
Hold your baby more often .. that helps in bonding!
And Inlaws .. this is not the right time to argue with them .. Ignore !!

Take Care
Priya
rr replied. hi Amrita,
I also had to give my baby formula for 3 days after his birth becoz I got milk in my breast after 3 days....but by that time my baby was so much used to the bottle that he simply refused to latch on.....so thats ok.....don't worry....u have not done anything wrong....
take care..... di bh replied. Amrita Congrats on becoming a new mother and also sorry to hear about your dad.First of all relax and do not listen to your in laws talk.they dont need a reason to talk about DILs they can create one.I know its easier said than done.But right now u need to concentrate on your baby and you.if you become tense then the baby and you both with suffer along with your parents.relax and do not entertain too much of your in laws.Take rest and eat well.
As far as breastfeeding you can ask for Hetals help in breast feeding section.Bond with your baby and pray for your father.Its really a suprise your doctor didnt let the baby near you after the delivery.The nurses shud have assisted you in breast feeding.They usually are trained to help new mothers.No wonder you screamed the first time.Relax and take good rest and eat well.Best of luck Rani replied. Hey not every body gets the milk. so if you give bottle is ok. don't lisen to your inlaws. just take care of yourself.