Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi ,

recently i saw this forum.before that i thought i was only person whose is tortured by in laws.
but after seeing this i am boosting my confidence.and i sincerely need ur suggestion in this situation.

i was married 1.5 years ago.came to us 1 year back. alot.their parents came and asked my father to give me to thier son.my father thought my life would be happy as all r interested he said yes.at that time my father didnt had any plan for my marriage so he wasnt ready financially.but they said we dont want any money we want just ur daughter.my father was happy and agreed.my father told he will give some land (worhtful) and gold ,money for sil.they agreed thye didnt ask anything(my father knows my fil well so they two only talked).then while all sat down for discussion officially with other my fil asked for some more money as his wife(mil)wasnt satisfied (she was crying that her son was getting very little but what we gave woth 20 lacs according to us but for them just 6 lacs).
anyway my father told him that idont have any money right now but as u werent satisfied i can give you after 1 year .they agreed.my sil was divorced and was at home we gave her what we told we will give before marriage .
the point is my fil was playing a double game he told his son that that my parents went to them and asked,that he didnt ask for any money .my husband is very confident abt his parents becz he came from a poor family and they struggled a lot to make him educated .they didnt even wait what my father told will give him after 1 year as soon as i left india they kept pressure on them and m,y parents gave everything immediately.when ever my mom said it might take sometime for money my hubby told to talk to his parents not to him.anyway the things went very worse even after my parents gave money they didnt even tell my hubby.it was going.... on my sil got a match and they settled well.now inspite of her second marrige she doesnt go to her mil place she stays with her mom ,dad .her husband comes to them he stays with them.the man who married my sil they r poor and these people they r offering fianancial help so he will come for money obviously.what ever my hubby earns he doesnt with hold even a single pie for us he esends everything to fil he takes care of them.till today .
any way they made my parents ,brother evryine bad for all the thing saying one t hing or other which my parents never did and made him angry .what my mil does she all her probs to his son and says not to ask me to keep in his mind.once we have something negative in our mind we r human beings we show it one way or other that is how my husband behaves.now the situation is he doesnt like my parents,he says i dont like his parents,even i dont like him.my husband he frequently says to leave him and go to my place when ever he is angry he says not in ordinar language in worst way.i beared it 3 t times yesterady we had an argument and he said it again .i m really really hurt .shd i leave him.i feel like going to my parents but afraid of my in laws to go there .many time s i feel like dieing .i m post tgraduate but i m on h4 .shd i live with this person /not .he feels his sparents r only great and all others are waste.i m the beginner(married recently) and i unableto deal with this situation.i unable to decide.plz suggest me .what i shd do ?if i talk to my parents that day i know how he behaves. ttt replied. dear friend

don;'t be sad and think about suicide and all. u r precious dear. we cannot run away from probs. we can overcome it. u r educated and a day'll sure come which u thought ur life would be. pray always. always. with ful faith. and see the diference . alsoo be wise and slowly slowly build a strong foundaton for ur relation . and if he is so abusing and hrting u and u cannot stand it anymore, just go to ur parents poalce for sometijme and see the dfference. if he really loves u , he'll sort everuthing outrt. if it si very worse situation also u can go back to india and find a good job. a marriage is not the end of life, ok. be wise smart girl as u were before marriage. love u dear be happy. life is like this. if ur wise now, u'll be happy later. think clearly. keep the depression aways. that cannot slove ur prob. pray and think. Shalini replied. hi lavi,
I feel everyone has to handle her In-Laws in her own way...every problem might look same but needs a unquie solution.
Step-1 U should tell ur parents to stop fulfilling ILs demands...by this u can see what ur husband's reaction also
Step.-2 If u can work ...be independent and save maney for urself.
Or else do sm small investments.
Step-3 Most of the husbands will never listen to their wives probs that is they hv to ask support from outside so no use of discussing with them and encourage fighting.In ur case its gud tht u r not staying with in laws.
If possible let ur husband realize tht tomorrow he can be at ur father's shoes...no one knows what will happen..if this dowry culture will keep on going even our kids will hv to face prob.
Divorce is not a solution but if u found him greedy and he is tourturing u then u should put a step ahead and go back to ur parents..Just think and try to give a small chance.

Again,Reading forums and making friends can motivate u but u hv face prob on ur own.
I also like to say one imp thing to everyone on this forum..if u can help somebody in someway..well & gud or else just keep quiet..dont waste ur energy in crtisizing..it hurts to see such nonsense coming from educated people. ttt replied. hello


i feel sorry for u dear lavi, u asked a solution for ur problem and these people here r doing something else.

it is ok dear, there are some people who cannot understand others.

friend what i say is if u can wait sometime and concentrate on ur life(usband and wife). talk to him. new marrages are most of the time like this. u have to work it out. so try to make him understand ur situation and gve a new start to everything.
O_O replied. Right..she is asking for help...there is only one sloution, ie. to give divorce. That is what this facility is available for..I dont see a future of the girl in this relaptionship. Is there anything +ve about it which has kept you 2 together?

PS: keralites r same, greedy for money, beggars in disguise. married replied. marriage = business
dontwanttotell replied. u must be an ANDHRAITE/TELUGITE/GULTI

typical stories from andhraites