Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi, My 3.5 yr old son thinks and feels that i am his enemy. He does not come near me at any given point in the day. He ignores me as if there is no mom existing in the house. He was not like this a year ago. But lately it is getting too bad and it is really bothering me. He does not want to sleep with mommy, he does not want mommy to do anything for him. He does not like mommy(he says it). There are every day incidents where he makes it very clear that he does not like me , or he does not want me doing anything for him.
But on the other side , I try to do all his favorite things, like take him to chukie cheese, swimming, bring him candies that he likes... take him to art classes etc.

I am not sure why he is growing up like this. Not sure what i am doing wrong. My husband thinks its just a phase but I go thru the pain everyday and he does not get it.

To add to all this my inlaws came to visit for 6 months and its been 2 months that they are here... and things have got even worse. They keep saying... dont do that, mommy will get angry. If you do bad things, mommy will sleep with you tonight as if that was a punishment. On top of all this they overule anything i say to him. If i say no to something, they give it to him in 2 mins...

Very frustrating and I feel like i am so alone in my own home. My husband understands my pain but he will never talk against his parents. Not helping much

Did anyone go thru this? Any suggestions? hi replied. hi priya

u have to concentrate more in this matter than anything else now. dear, u have to wn ur kid back.

u know no child can hate hs mother. first honestlt, think why he is saying so? may be u r too STRICT. may be u r not showng ur love towards him openely. takng to chuckee cheeses and everything s good dear. but u know what , for the affecton u crave for , for that these things, gong out and all not matters. 100%.
what is needed is the feeling for ur kd that his mom love him more than anythng in this world. tha magic of love and comfort which he experences when he is with u. that is the thing.

that is why i said u have to concentrate more. i know u love ur son, wll do anything for hm, will buy anything. i know u r working and u have less tinme.

take hm out with u to some park or something, be with him. let him play, play with him. play with hm a lot( u know kids love to paly with their mom more than anything else). after palyng a lot, take him to eat somethng which he likes most. talk to him after that in the resturant itself or some picnic areas or anywhere u think he likes most. tell him MUMMY LOVES U MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. IF MUMMY IS SAYONG 'NO' TO SOMETHING, T IS BECAUSE LOVE U MORE THAN ANYTHING. I DON'T WANT MY SWEETIE TO BECOME A BAD BOY. I WANT MY DEAR U TO BECOME A VERY GOOD BOY.
like that slowly slowly draw him towards ur love.
u know, ur main ntenton the very good for ur child. so inlaws tenson and all NEVER MIND.
it is ur son. he have to love u. so go ahead. pray.
PLAY WTH HIM.
take him in ur lap cuddle him . tell him u love him. talk to him always . say jokes. ask about his day. do his favourite thigs. but when he do wrong, (really bad things) strictly say No. then tell him lovingly. u cannot do that, t is a bad thing.
TELL HIM STORIES. yes he like it.

i strongly beleve these ideas will help u. ok. my prayers r with u.
don't be tensed. clear ur mind,. pray and move with confident.
shayna replied. Just a suggestion,I don't know if it will help.

Ask your husband to help you out in this by taking your son and you out one day and let your hubby ask your son as to why he hates you and why he talks badly to you.
The crux of the matter is you need to talk to find out the reason and nip it in the bud.
You need to tell your hubby how hurt you are.
Just try this.
It should help. di bh replied. Hey relax first of all first things first till the time your in laws are there spend as much time as possible with your kid.take him to his fav park or fav mall or shop ask him what he wants as u want to buy him something .One day take him shopping saying he was good to his grandparents so u want to reward him and after few days tell him u feel like having icecream and ask him to join you. as much as possible spend time with him alone.when u do these things. get him his fav cookie chocolate or something. dont worry about healthy food right now u need to win back his love.
Also dont give too much material for your in laws to drive u both apart. when ur in laws tell him mummy doesnt like u doing this immediately tell him u dont mind him doing it and he can do what he wants and have fun and you wudnt object .keep an eye on him.thats it . u can ensure he is not doing anything harmful.
let him be by himself.dont object too much otherwise he will retort and it will make matters worse.This is the time when he shud be greatly influenced .
one more idea wud be Instead of him u pushing u away why dont u try staying away when he realizes you are not craving to get his love back he will come to you.