Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi, Im manimaran i saw that a lot of problem is going between MIL's and DIL's. Onething basically all the indian ladies are too good comparing anyone in the world. They r so affectionte than any other in the world. U know that's why the problem is araising. Most of the MIL's want to dominate or control there DIL's bcos they dont want to loose there power if the MIL's are well settled otherwise they dont want to loose the money what the son is giving if they are well settled. I agree that all the DIL's are more understandable than MIL's. I want to ask onething that why all the DIL's are not trying to find a place on there MIL's heart. I know it is very very diff than any other thing in the world. But still our women are not that much week. If they can change there hubby why cant they can change thre MIL's. Sure u people can do it. But it will take time. Try to narrow the gap between u and ur MIL.Now-a-days all the DIL's are well educated and why u people are not planning how to find a place in MIL's heart. Once this happends then all the Hubbies will make wonders. Bcos most of the hubbies life is going by solving probs with wife and mother. I hope im not wrong. I am supporting all the DIL's. Really u people r very good. Bring the heaven into ur house its in ur hand. Plz vote im right or wrong. All the best. shayna replied. I have seen both your discussions.But To manimaran,it is the easiest thing to say to let go but its the hardest thing to do especially after the MIL treats the dil in such a spiteful ,disgusting and humiliating way.
Not a single girl ever dreams of getting married with the intention of harrassing her mil,and dowry this is a highly disgusting concept in our culture which needs to be done away with.Not only do the in-laws have the audacity to ask money but after marriage they even ill treat their dils.
Education has no role in this ,if according to your theory it does it applies most importantly to the MIL,you know why,she is an elderly person who has seen life ,if she can't understand another girl who is the same age as her daughter and instead of that ill treat and taunt her how on earth do you expect the dil to make a place in her heart.
Believe me when I say this every girl in the first 3 yrs of her married life tries to do exactly this ,trying to do everything her MIL says ,what her husband wants her to do,what her fil wants her to do,what her bils or sils want her to do.
Cook one dish according to her mil and fil's taste and cook another acc to her husbands taste and one according to her bil's taste and finally what does she get out of her mil,harsh words and taunts.
Even the girls parents have gone thru the same pains husbands parents have gone thru no difference but the treatment meted out to the dil at her inlaws place is that of an unpaid servant,while that given to the groom at his inlaws place is that of respect.
Shame on such a hypocrytic culture.We hide behind the shadows of culture and make that an excuse for the ill treatment meted out to dils,and the disgusting excuse of parents are old and they need peaceful life,how do you try to understand a conniving and scheming mil is beyond my imagination.
I and my husband have suffered so much at my mil's hands and the lying thru the teeth is so unforgivable coming from such elderly people ,if those acts are done out of ignorance or innocence it can be forgiven but the acts done deliberately to hurt someone is not even forgiven by the gods then how can we.
And even after getting caught trying to act like one has changed and then still continuing to plot and try is a breach of trust.I speak from experience. dinu replied. i read ur reply to me and thanks for it.
But manimaran, My case is different and my hubby doesnt accept and console even if she is wrong like u did in train.
My hubby is over matured(he feel so) ...and doesnt give me space in that situations to cry. As a hubby once he consoled me in such a hard situation but, next day i was in parents home and my mil supported her behaviour and lied 'bout me .then my hubby (the same one who consoled me previousday) came and scolded me for those i didnt do at all and complaints were just made to gain his sympothy back.He knows well I can never be harsh to anyone.but at that time he aroused and told me i better die than taunting his old mom :(( .
He just listen oneside and that is his problem,. Probably my fate is like that and my hubby doesnt understand cunningness in his life.
Sorry manimaran, u answered well 'bout a common man's attitude.Probably my man is uncommon thatsy I couldnt find him in the things u told...

So, Here I rewrite ur WORDS...If husbands r understandable, DILs can change history and for their experience if MILs start being plain and fair (let them play game but in fair way) ...DILs can definitely make a home heaven.