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Role of in-laws:for silver
2006-07-26
Name: bb



Hi Silver,

I find u a very positive and experienced persons.... if u dont mind u cd pls tell me ur age and how years to ur marriage...
Just asking to know that how many years i will be needing to come to ur maturity level... i m 28 and 2.5 yrs of marriage...
do u ever fight with hubby.... do u ever complain to ur hubby abt his MIL dual behaviour infront of him and otherwise alone...

Shall we tell hubby's abt his mom's wierd behavour and insecurity that we will snatch their son from her.....or do hubby's know abt there mom's nature... since they are living with them from chilhood..

bye for now
BB

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2006-07-26
#1
Anonymous Name: silver
Subject:  hi bb



Thanks dear.I could realise things 2yrs after marriage but never resisted myself from complaining with hubby which used to lead bigg arguments that I used to end up becoming cruel DIL in his views.
My only question was..\";when they complain immediately u try to change me according to them...and u never even let me open my mouth if i'm going to tell any thing real and not complaint on ur parents\"; !
He used to raise his voice and used to deviate topic...Finally I used to cry and stop for that day..eveing we used to be happy again.

I felt y shd we fight over someone else? Any fight used ot start only with their topic.So I decided to be happ not getting topic.

Funny thing is... BB, ur hubby too know somehow that u r good .All they want is to c us adjusted because they dont find another alternate.
He feels If u know that he know everything u'll not be adjusted and u'll have a ride on him.So he doesnt want to give u that chance. Thatsy never support u...

So, what u wanted is already achieved ..y shd u complain again .We r complianing just to let him know things.but he knew it already.

If u fully believe he is not at all awared , just give hints kiddngly but not in complaining way...

When u be nice then u get chance to say soemthing in kidding way that he can not oppose you at that time.So ur prpose gets solved.on other way he'll be not hurted too.

BB, I'm 26 and experienced everything in my 4years of married life. From the past 6months I completely stopped complaining and if I get anything to complain I just make a point in kidding way.shouldnt lead to hot arguments where u have 90%chance to fail.
As I told in ur fist post ,be nice and before she comeback just conclude with the word I suggested.

I hope everything gets settled, when u seriously want to solve problem urselves.but my another advise is...just doont take ure problems to ur close friends or even parents...their wory for u might lead u to confuse more on ur firm decision to be nice ..sometimes.

so bb, best of luck dear! hope u can see his best of love very soon !
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2006-07-26
#2
Anonymous Name: rrr
Subject:  good advice



Hi Silver,
Your advice makes a lot of sense....but yes I agree with BB....how much time more till we reach this level of maturity.....or rather one understands that this is the way a certain situation is to be handled but the anger and frustration that one feels keeps her from taking the right path.....

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