Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I have had a lot of issues with my MIL....she has hurt me with her words many a times.We stay in the US and call up my MIL almost twice a week ....and during each of those calls she has something -ve to say abt me or taunts me.
When I was pregnant ,my husband used to always support me and tell me that he understands that his mom should improve her ways.But once I had the baby everything has changed.....my hubby no longer cares abt my feelings.Says things like.....why would his mom purposely say things to hurt me?....what MOTIVE does she have to hurt me? He says that his mom does not think before speaking and that is where the problem is.Infact he thinks that I am the one who has the habit of MISUNDERSTANDING others and if a continue this habit then nobody should speak to me!!!
Now a days I feel like hurting myself to draw his attention and to get some sympathy......but when I do such a thing he scolds me and sometimes even laughs!.....I don't know what to do.....feeling very very depressed and lonely ....
Just wanted to share....
-Renu friend replied. I just have one thing to say, \";Living well is the best revenge!\";. Lead the lifestyle you always wanted and don't care for your MIL. She is just another minoe irritant in your life. Like a traffic jam or shortage of water. friend replied. I just have one thing to say, \";Living well is the best revenge!\";. Lead the lifestyle you always wanted and don't care for your MIL. She is just another minoe irritant in your life. Like a traffic jam or shortage of water. anonymous replied. Hi Renu,

Same here. My husband sometime agree to me but at other times he completely forgot whatever inlaws did to me. 1 time when i was pregnant, my mil didnt come to help me and she was saying as to "should i come" everytime on the phone never took an action. On the other hand my parents if i told them that i needed help will be there immediately irrespective of their health and visa status. What to do? My husband is too attached to his mother. In my case fil and mil are not good and cunning. Wake up replied. Dear Renu,
First of all you now have a small child to take care of. You cant be giving this much prominence to your mil living miles away and in turn taking away that much attention and time away from your kid.
Secondly if you will hurt yourself, you will someday grow more bolder and do something dumb and leave your child without a mother. Not your mil or your husband can tell your child about you and who you were.
If you think you have something to offer your child that nobody else can then WAKE UP. Change your life, use your time to plan things for your kids, research says kids can be read to from before they are born, so you can start reading books, religious music to your kid. Take your kid out to walk. Cook healthy for yourself and your husband. Watch good tv, read good books and do some good to people who are below your economy level.
Be nice,loving and attentive to your husband. Talk less to your mil and just keep it about kid and weather. If she says something stupid, forget it like some kid said something and dont mention it to your husband. And if you have to, do it and let it go. Act your age.
Your relationship with your mil should become the last thing on your mind and then soon your husband's. If you are happy with you husband, he will love you for who you are and soon your mil's comments wont mean much to him.
If (just suppose) that your father would not like your husband and do the same to your husband and your husband were to comment day in and out to you.. wouldnt u at a point be tired of your spouse too & wish he understood that aged people dont learn or cant be told..they are insecure and irritating but as a spouse it is the duty of the younger,mature and modern person to realize that what we have in our hands is what we can change and make better.

Wouldnt it be the best victory if you changed your life to a vibrant, happy one and lived life with your husband and kid & that would bother your mil the most...so go do that! Dont live in self pity or worse hurt yourself. Count your blessings and turn around your life. Take care