Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

When i got married, i always wanted to treat my inlaws just like my parents. I learnt later that they esp my father in law treated my family very badly during our wedding. He shouted at them for trivial reasons. I tried not to remember all those unpleasant things. But whenever he visits us, he says always bad about other ppl, keeps talking bad about other relatives (our family, his relatives). Mil keeps quiet, but i try my best to keep quiet. He is a bad person. everyone knows this. But none of his relatives say anything to him. How come? Somepoint in his life, someone should try to stop this behaviour. Why doesnt anyone say that. My hubby is at office and so doesnt know the exact details. Please give me suggestion as to how to handle him when he visits us or we visit him. I respect them, but i wish God changes his character (which hasnt happened till now). umar replied. i fully agree Make it very clear rt. from very beginning that if they want respect they
haveto give as well(to both husband & inlaws )

grow up replied. First of all dont think like a child, think like an adult. If 30 years from now, your married daughter's fil insults you..whose fault is that? Your daughter's. Because it is her responsibility to put things in order.

You should be strong,brave,strict and confident with your attitude with your husband and inlaws. By trying to be overtly nice,serving and daughter in law types you will just give them power to act like lunatics.
Tell your husband(whether he is at office or overseas) that this is how your father is and just because he is father of the groom doesnt make him king of the world and your parents deserve no less respect. And the change should happen fast and immediate. Dont listen to your husband's lame excuses of \";elders are like that, wont change as they are old or the usual..\";you take it in the wrong way\";
If your husband doesnt give importance to your feelings now, trust me this will only grow worse.
My inlaws tried that, I shut them up right there and then in firm single tone and left the room..leaving no space for further conversation. Then i told my husband what happened.
I have till date never let this reach my parents ears. There is no reason they should ever know all this and be upset.

Who cares why your fil was like this and whether or not he will change, for all i know such bitter,stupid idiots never change. What is important is your parents and you should never have to bear his lack of manners or sense.