Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi!
i am new to this board. uptill now i was a member of the miscarriage board. but since we started trying last month. i shifted to this board. i havent been trying for long...but the wait to try has been very long....more than a year.
i had a miscarriage last year. after that we didnt try due to family probs. after the 1st month of trying, i got my menses. we are still trying. my friends who conceived after me are proud moms now and those who got married after i did are preg now. i have been a real loser...
i dont know which is more painful...trying for a baby and not getting one or getting a baby and losing it...
everything is so dark. whether il ever conceive...even if i conceive...will i be able to deliver a healthy baby??? even if i dont conceive, il adopt. tats ok. but i feel really sad bout the baby i once carried and lost, the baby that would have been my husband's reflection, the baby that would have been the symbol of our love.
u understand how it feels when people ask u when ur going to give the good news...and even if they know bout the misfortune they can be unkind enough to ask,\";u trying for a second one?\"; i want to ask if i ever had a FIRST one...some of them say,\";ok now u have enjoyed enough. now give us the good news\";. only i know i much i have enjoyed.
just looking for friends who could understand. it really helps to say it all. even if u dont reply, i know u heard...and understood...thanks a lot!
pari.
Kaberi replied. Please do not feel bad.You will get a Baby.What God does is for good.He knows what is best for you.Take care.I am trying to conceive,can feel your pain... Tuktuk replied. Don't worry.Be happy..
I am praying for you ...you will be mom very soon..
I am also trying to conceive..
Pls pray for me.
All the Best. seema replied. hi pari ... as you are new to this board , me too .. i can understand that what pain ur going through !!!! but believe me , we all are in the same boat ... but having hopes that we will be soon proud mom .... and i think there only hope which make come on this board and talk to all you frds .. really i use to feel bad when till now noone answerd me but i know that .... some day one you all will be my frds ... dont worry and believe in ur self ... bye take care. advika replied. I'm in the same boat. I had miscarriage & had D & C done last jul. Dr. had asked us to wait for some time for atleast 3-4 cycles before trying again. My periods are also irregular, so My case is more complex, never know when I ovulate. Now we are again trying from this feb & no luck yet. My husband had his sperm analysis done last month & I too had my laproscopy done. Both of our reports showed ok. But this we did not have any luck. Now Dr. had given me a course of Ovofar tablets, due to my irregular periods. Now we only have to wait & watch. I feel very bad when people ask me good news question. sangeeta replied. Dear Pari
Whatever u have written is nothing different from what i want to write or say.Even i have gone through this so i can understand u better.Last month only the Doctor did my D and C as there was no deveplopment of the baby.I was very sad and very disturbed as it was my first pregnancy which meant alot to me and my husband.The day i came to know that i am pregnant i started communicating with my child. I wanted to make him feel how precious he is in our life. That time didn`t even thought will go through this. I had spotting problem which is said to be normal but in my case it took my life`s charm from me.
But i know sooner or later we all will conceive.U don`t take tension everything will be fine and allright.1 day we all friends trying for baby will be proud mothers just keep faith in God.He is there.He knows everything. He don`t like his childrens sad.He will sure bring happiness in our life. He has not given us baby now bcos he has something good reserved for us.Which he will give on right time. Don`t look at your past think about a lovely future.Here u only have to help u. Though we r here for each other to give suggestion to help but to tackle your emotions is in your hand. This part u shud help u. If u r mentally strong physically strong u will conceive soon. But if u keep on thinking negative cursing yourself it won`t do any good to u.Infact it will worse the condition. So from today just keep on thinking 1 day u also will be blessed with motherhood. Do the planning what u will do what u will wear when u will be pregnant.How u can teach good things to ur child. How busy u will be when the baby will be around.How your life will change etc That`s what i am doing and it really works.I know it will work in your case also. So please don`t feel depressed or sad. Have faith in God. Believe him. He is there for all of us. We r his childrens. He won`t keep us sad for long time. Think positive be positive.
If i have hurt u in any sense i am really very sorry pls forgive me
love and take care
sangeeta
Sonia replied. Hey Pari, this is sonia here. this one is specially for u.
i read ur hearttouching message. i know what pain and difficulty u must be going thr.
u r right friends etting kids , those married after u also pregnent , insensitive people asking hurts teribbly. and the worst part is that no body understands.i will tell u my lil secret . my younger SIL got pg. very recently. that made me so upset. no im not unhappy for her. in fact i pray for her. but i got sad over my situation thinking why not me? what i have done? 2 full days i coudnt stop crying and feeling miserable.
but i guess that all life is about. Keep heart pari and god will surely help us.
i know ur situation is much difficult than mine. but we should have faith in god. he will give us what we want. and we pray.
thanks for the Doctors info. u know their names too. so u must be serious. ya i ahd one meeting already with dr. pai. i will go again now for my further treatment.
dont feel alone.
keep in touch.bye A Friend in Canada replied. Hey Pari, I understand what you are going through, my cousin went through the same thing and myself as well. She had two miscarriages and I had one she is now happy with two beautiful kids. I am pregnant with my first. I want you to first of all ignor those people that say all that crap to you, they have nothing else to talk about, and secondly I want you to relax and enjoy the sex life and enjoy trying (that's the fun part). Once you get everything out of your mind and go one with you life before you know it you will hit the target. When you get stressed about this, you are also putting your marriage at risk. I know it is hard to relax and forget about the miscarrage, but believe me you will be a lot happier if you do forget it. Also I will pray to god that you get what you want, believe in him, like they say he is watching us all. I also have been in the same situation and I have forgotten all about it and we have enjoyed our life, I did not get pregnant for almost 1 years after my miscarrage. I said to my self I can't feel miserable all the time I need to get my self organized and get back to the real life, so I guess once I felt relaxed we were pregnant. So don't worry it will happen. I hope of I was of some help.
Keep in touch...good luck Indian replied. awww pari, i understand what you are going through-- it must have been really devastating to have a miscarriage.. pls dont lose hope-- miracles do happen-- n u just have to be strong and have faith.. i know easier said than done--but dont ever lose hope-- it will happen- u will get pg n u will be able to deliver a healthy baby...
well as for me-- ive been trying for over a year--but no luck--its frustrating--specially when u see ure friends getting pg and everyone askin when r u givin good news-- but i know someday it will happen...
keep in touch-- dont think u r alone..