Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Widow Mil and unmarried sil are thorns in life. If we stay with them, they try their best to keep husband and wife apart. They keep taunting that we are enjoying life by being married and not allowing them to enjoy. If we go to work on weekends, they say we are lying and going to hotels and watch movies leaving them behind. If they see us sitting together in the house and chatting then they say we don't have culture. These two women are getting on my nerves. So we decided to leave the house. Now everyday she keeps crying and telling that they are suffering very much and come back. Previously when we went back home thinking that we are guilty to leave them behind, these people said all the worst things on earth and made us cry. How to handle these saddist people ? If we don't call them, then they make a big issue. If we call them they say all the nasty things. Of course they are showing they anger and frustrations on us, but how much can we take, and for how long ? S R replied. Hi Anon

Tell your unmarried sis in law so find a guy and get married and leave you alone!!!
Tell your mum in law to join an old people's home or an Ashram!

and ask her what culture she has sitting at parents house when she really should be married and settled down.

All the best friend replied. I see you really have a tough situation to face. Seeing this as a third person from here, and having sailing a similar boat as yours, I can point out some suggestions, or try to atleast share your tensions (thats a good thing we DILs can do here).

Look at the long time, your SIL is going to get married and MIL will stay with you. You are a working person, will have kids, and MIL will probably look after them. I dont think this truth is going to change - even if you separate from them today, you will have to be with MIL once SIL is married. Right? Let's face it and act from long term point.

And take my word, MILs are best to have in the house to look at kids once DIL goes to office.

SIL :
U said ur SIL is unmarried. Are there not plans of her marriage? I think your problem is more intense because MIL and SIL are together there. It might ease down a bit when SIL gets married. And might ease down more when MIL gets a grandkid to take care of.
I think you (hubby and you) should start focusing on SIL's marriage (i m assuming she is at that age).
Secondly, try this trick - divide and rule. Can't you try befriending SIL? You might need to leave your ego and reach out to her for a starting-point. Though she is of the opposition-party, but age-wise she must be in the younger group. Somewhere, your tastes might match - movies/books/friends/make-up/shopping/something. Be good to her friends if they visit your house. I mean- Oblige her by such a thing. Buy something like cosmetics/suit for you as well as for her. It will take time to change her mind, but she will start feeling better about you later if not sooner. Once you befriend her a little, make her face the fact that she is also going to be a DIL and will face same things.

MIL - well, this one is tough. I have lots of suggestions but dont think they would work. MILs lose their capacity to think once DIL comes.
You said you two left the house. Means your hubby is with you. Is it possible that your hubby gets together the family and speaks clearly and strictly in the house about the rules you want them to follow? Is it possible that he clearly tells them \";look, we want to stay with you, but you should promise you will not create scenes etc etc? If I see you doing, I will leave with my wife and them dont blame us. I dont want to hear any issue/cribbing after today in the house. I respect you all and want to live as a happy family which is not possible withtout the efforts of ALL.\";

All that i could understand from your issue, i have tried to suggest. Think and discuss with your hubby (not the SIL part - that u think urself) if u want to apply it.

Let us know what u decide.