Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi friends, i just thought i should tell u people this. my inlaws tortured me mentally, and my hubby also hurt me v.badly many times. my mom also was tortured by her mil,fil,bil and sil and was beaten up by my father. but such things never happened to my grand parents. my grandma had such a wonderful mil. when my grandma was pregnant she had to face many comlications, so she was taken to hospital. the doctors said that she had v.little chances of survival. after hearing this her mil was so depressed that she starved for 1week and died because of that. my other grandma who tortured my mom[my mom's mil] had no mil, but her husband loved her too. he used to buy something for her from a hotel almost everyday. he used to praise her cooking and used to love only what she cooks though everybody including her own sons hated her cooking. why r the present generation inlaws and husbands so bad. why do they always torture them mentally or physically life replied. Hi Tejmom,

I too keep thinking this question in mind. Infact myself and MIL had a lovely discussion on this too. My MIL's MIL has 7 DIL's!! and I believe she never expected anything from anybody and she simply depended on herself for everything. But according to my MIl that was bad and adamant!! can u guys believe. My MIl thinks she wants every MIL-DIL to be mother-daughter..which is highly immpossible in this era. As dil says it is generation gaps which is making this tu-tu mai-mai scene in every family. I think when we too become MIL's our DIL's will have some kind of problems from us but in a more sophsticated way.

Guess everybody needs to be given their own space and things will be nice. another sufferring dil replied. this is a good question. my guess is that in the old times, the ladies 'area' was clearly defined and it was 'within the four walls of the house' doing all the household stuff. the man went to earn and the woman would cook, clean, raise children and all the other stuff. and moreover, there were not as many machines and gadgets available that time. so all of her time was utilized in the house itself. that is there was no time left to exercise the brain. and moreover all the women had the same lifestyle.

then as women began to show interest in studies, the awareness increased. they became more aware of the outside world and the rights of women. and thereby increased the generation gap. so now what happened was that the MIL began to compare that she did so and so things around the house but the DIL does not do. instead she also makes her hubby (MILs son) work(till her time men working in the kitchen was a taboo). so she started saying things to the DIL. and the DIL wanted to discuss this with somebody. so she got together with other DILs. and the circle of gossip also increased.
with the intro of servants and machines, there was a lot of free time left to observe judge other people.

and moreover as the woman began to earn, the man's 'ego' also came in the picture.

another factor is that earlier the women worked together and loved each other. but with todays lifestyle, there is very little space left for love. the DILs want to make their children all rounders..the MILs want them to play and live with no pressure(like their sons)..and so on. so basically there is generation gap.