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Role of in-laws:Need to vent out today's incident

2005-02-24

Name: upset Hi all my friends,

I'm so angry today. As usual everytime my in-laws visit and no matter how nice I am to them they always end up insulting me and put it in an indirect manner so it doensn't look or feel offensive. And if I told my husband it would look petty and coz fights and hard feelings between us which I really don't want since we have such a great marriage and his parents visit temporarily and I don't want to cause unecessary fights. But it hurts so much when you are away from your home, your parents and want comfort and someone insults you. I really miss my mum and dad today like anything. Infact, it's pass midnight and everyone is asleep but i am too upset to go too bed. don't even have anyone to talk too.

This is what happened today. We went out for a nice dinner, everyone was having fun and a topic of discussion came up and I am flat foot (as in really I have flat feet). So my MIL goes in a nice way \";no offense to you, but in Pakistan before they get married they look at a girls feet before they get married because they would not marry a girl if she was flat foot!\"; What relevance did this topic have? She was just trying to make me feel bad and insult me.

May be I am being childish, but I feel so awful today.

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2005-03-16

Name: tejmom
Subject:

attack back indirectly!

you should have told her, in america people are sensible and they dont see senseless things like flat foot and all those nonsense. before saying that tell her that you are not trying to hurt her and tell her not to feel bad. DO IT THE SAME WAY SHE DOES.learn to be smarter in your in laws cases. if we r not then we have to keep suffering. there will be no end

2005-03-08

Name: novborn
Subject:

just a thought

You should've said in America people look at the MIL's mouth before marrying. If it runs too much then no marriage !!
Don't give her the power to upset you.

2005-02-25

Name: upset
Subject:

thanks

Thank you all of you who replied I really appreciate it. I feel much better now and yes I shouldn't worry about what she says or thinks.

She knows I am sensitive and uses that all the time to make me feel bad. Even though I put up a very brave front compared to before - she knows my weakness and uses that to the utmost.

but the next time she says something like this I will tell her off once and for all. Every person has a limit.

2005-02-25

Name: vd
Subject:

discuss this out

Even if the topic is closed now, Please tell her in front of every body that you were hurt last night. Tell her that there were n number of things which are changing in today's world. And women are better than cattle now. Tell her that its only women who are making life miserable for other women by these words.

Please pass this message across to all. DOn't suffer alone friend. Life is for living and not crying for others. Have courage.

2005-02-25

Name: V1
Subject:

My suggestion !!

Sorry to hear what your MIL said . I think its rude of her . So insulting .

Ask her in Educated Pakisthani families or uncultured uneducated Low income families - this custom is followed . are they buying cattle ?

Go a step further , ask her education Level - i mean MIL's .

2005-03-16

Name: tejmom
Subject:

you r right

great idea!!!

2005-02-25

Name: senorita
Subject:

Be happy

Hi there ,

Firstly , do u really care so much about what ur MIL says. There are so many better things to do in life, than just try to show someone down ( like ur MIL does).

U are a educated girl . Think & behave like one. Laugh off all the issues she points out in ur direction. Maybe she knows this , That u get upset whenever she says something, & ur MIL really enjoys it & will do it more .

Try to divert ur mind , read some good books , indulge in a hobby that u like ..do anything that makes u happy.

whats the point in u loosing ur peaceful sleep & MIL is snoring away...

i hope this helps & u feel better...
bye
senorita.

2005-02-25

Name: mini
Subject:

pakistan

hi dear,

You should have replied on her face that in Pakistan everything happens opposite.

That's it. That will keep her bloody mouth shut.

2005-02-25

Name: upset
Subject:

No ways

NO neither of us have any connection to Pakistan, no relatives there, never even been there. We are both born and raised in America. That is why I am saying what relevance did this have to the topic of flat feet!

My in-laws I believe have visited Pakistan once for a vaction in the 1960's

2005-02-24

#10

Name: Namita Kar
Subject:

where are u from

hi, just curious, are u not from pakistan and your hubby is

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