Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi all...recently i found this site, its intresting and informative..and here lots of friends are there to advice in our daily life matter ..i know i m posting my this problem on wrong bord..pardon me for that..but i just wanted to get some good advice from you people like augustborn and vd.. most of thier reply will come on this forum only...i hope i will get the reply..and hope am not bugging you all..
we( me my hubby) came us one year backk..he is here forsome project...long term.... but he is not satisfied with his work ...he is working hard ..but his all friends got promotion being here...and in high post..due to work and office politics(i can say that cozz i know my hubby and he admitt also that he donno how to tackle in this politics matter for promotion),he is actually very seedha saadha..he will talk less and only concentrate on his work...the problem is i want him to be smart not only sitting and doing work all the time and no one is noticing him..sometime he will complain his communication is not so good....i suggested also go to community college for this problem..but for that also he is thinking...actually he is introvert person..he will talk less ..and will work only.....but i want him to change..i want him to be visible in office among him managers.
but i fail doing that...i donno what to do and how to make him understand.
i was working but right am not..i know abt office politics..but not much so i want some suggestion regarding this...can you guys help me in this matter..actually he want to go backk to india..for his promotion and that is also not sure that he will get it over there...so i want him to be smart and visible among all..so he can get the promotion here itself...i know am putting diffrent matter on this bord..but please help me regarding this matter......if you all can....thanks to all of you vd replied. Hi Yellow rose.

In schools in India, we have speeches etc.but the children are not professionally trained.

You will find toast masters association in every country. Usually you can get information in Libraries or Indian embassies. They generally train you to speak on stage and you can participate in competitions.

But if your husband can join any course (many courses are available) which deals with giving effective presentations, public speaking, time management, that will be good. My experience says, you should keep studying as well. Not only him but you as well. Every time you do a course to enhance knowledge in a profession you can expect promotions. Because it shows that you are interested in getting better.

See we are in another country and we have to show them that we are interested in their culture, their education and their way of meeting.

I know most of Asian Men and Women are not in Good in shaking hands and it really is very very important. A firm handshake with eye to eye contact is so important. Dress for occasion.

If you are going to a gathering where there is a good mix of people, leave your indian clothes and jewellery behind. I mean it all yellow gold and diamonds turn people off,and also leaving hair open (the indian idea of beauty), Bindi, SIndoor etc. These are not for official dinners. Even when you go out with him. Get a business suit. But please dont wear your bangles, rings, earrings , chain etc.
Only go for pearls or small white gold stuff.

WHEN IN ROME, DO WHAT ROMANS DO.

There is nothing wrong in being indian but we are in other country so change as per them.

If he does not drink, pick up soft drink , ginger ale etc and give company.

All the best. augustborn replied. I absolutely agree with VD...excellent suggestion, I second her...

Dear friend, you have to play a pivotal role for furthering your partner's career ambitions. Support him and lead him through all the steps VD proposed. Infact, you can both join courses and discuss and enhance your communication skills. This way your dh will have a partner and someone to share ideas with.
Also, most of the business is done on a dinner table...:)
1. Make efforts to know and befriend your dh's colleauges and seniors socially with the help of your husband.
2. Arrange get-together's, theme parties, dinners, pot-luck's etc, week-end escapades. Idea is to project your partner as a people's person.
3. As VD already said, pay attention to the wardrobe...
4. Whenever you do, entertain in style. Presentation makes a great difference and trust me, its not expensive.

Be there for your man and help him succeed...Remember,\"; Behind every successful man is a woman!\";...to tell him that hes wrong :)..just kidding...

Cheers! vd replied. Hi Yellow rose,

I understand it is a competitive market and one has to be visible. I myself have been working as a manager in a multinational in 7 countries.

I have few suggestions for you to develop confidence. Intovert nature can not be changed. But effort has to be made.

1. Increase your social circle, please call colleagues and visit their home.It is important to interact well. Normally, you do not get promotions if you are not social. The logic is as you grow up in ladder, your paperwork reduces but your communiation has to increase as you are responsible for bringing new business.

2. If he is not confident, join Toast masters courses. YOu should help him to improve his speech. Observe carefully when you go out.

3. Dress appropriately. Indians normally does not spend much on clothing, accessories. Believe me they boost your confidence.

4. Join public speaking lessons.
5. Please read these books which you will find in every store in world.

-Gung Ho,
-7 habits of highly effective people
-How to make friends and influence people
-One minute Manager
- Who moved my cheese

I will send you another list later.

If he is not socila, you start calling people. See how they behave. ANd when you invite people, get new crockery, try new dishes, arrange a game.

See these develop confidence.

WOrking 24 hrs a day will not give promotions once yu reach a certain level. Your dealing with people, Eye to Eye contact, body language and firm handshake are important.

Notice people why they are successful.

Affirm every day morning and evening that \"; I am getting successful\"; take out negative thoughts.