Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

My sister in-law has told many tales about my husband and
myself to her sisters. But on our faces she plays the victim
and says that we do not care about her. Now she is hoping to bring
her niece to live with her and all of a sudden she has started becoming
superficially nice because she knows that she might need us. I do not believe in pretending, so I confronted her
and told her about how hurt I am and that I know she has been gossiping
to others about us, including her friends. So now she pretends to be so hurt
about it. She called my husband and started crying but cut the phone very fast
and said that she couldn't talk because she's upset, when she can she will call
again. What do you think she is trying to do? Is it guilt or denial? And what
should I do? I certainly think she is much stronger than that. She also has this
notion that she has done so much for both of us, which I believe is not true. I do
not know how she reached that conclusion. She even went so far as to mention in front
of her friends that we would have been on the street if it wasn't for her.This annoyed
me very much. And my husbands sisters keep on repeating that they have done so much for
him. What bothers me is that if you really do it for love, you shouldn't keep count and
use it later on to get what you want.
Tala replied. Hello,
I just wanted to share with you, I have a similiar problem with my Sister in law. She is difficult, she always plays the role of victim when she's confronted with her issues.

I think this is a case of sisters in laws not respecting that their brothers have married and have families, somehow they are jealous of the women in their brother's life. I know that sounds silly, but I truly believe that it's a case of jealousy.

My sister in law has tried to complain to my husband once about some stupid situation where she came by our home when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and she was trying to get me to loan her some money for her to get her hair and nails done, I didn't have money; we were saving every dime we had for the new baby. She had a job, this is her second marriage, the first marriage came from her becoming pregnant and her Dad advised the two to get married to keep from shaming the family. That was a short marriage. The second marriage is with a guy who is also divorced and has 2 sons.

I believe she's jealous of us. My husband (her brother) and I had a proper start, we didn't \";have to get married\";. We wanted to get married. We have our own house, etc.

so with that, she seems to do things to try to start problems. Now, I have told my husband that I wish she would mind her own business.

You're right, if a person is in the family and truly wants to give, they should not count everything they've given.

I feel it's wrong for her to gossip about you and your husband to others. I think that is wrong, it's showing everyone how little respect she has for you two.

I would watch her closely and make sure to never fall for her games; don't ever fall for the guilt trips or the crying, she is a very manipulative person it seems.

Good luck