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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > The Girl Child > Join the Debate: Sons or Daughters?

Join the Debate: Sons or Daughters?

Would you like to have a daughter or a son? What would be your reasons for preferring one sex over another? Think about it and hop aboard to share your views.

Ask an urban, educated professional parent-to-be whether he wants a boy or a girl. Pat comes the reply - "A girl!" There seems to be a shift in our attitudes towards the girl child, at least amongst the educated elite. While a boy was the preferred child a few generations ago, parents these days long for the love and caring a daughter showers them with.


There was a time when parents would want sons as they wanted someone to look after and support them in their old age. But these days, professionals earn well, and make it a point to plan for their retirement, so they are not dependent on their children for financial support. Emotional love and support of course can be provided by either son or daughter.

Sons and daughters can both earn very well, and it is getting increasingly common for the wife to make more money than her husband. Of course, the reason we don't see even more of this is because a wife who is doing well in her career often has the option to marry someone who is doing even better than she is!


A few generations ago, parents wouldn't eat in the homes of their daughters and would make it a point to shell out a few rupees if they had so much as a sip in their daughters home. Thankfully, such traditions are slowly changing, and while many parents of married daughters still adhere to this, chances of this tradition continuing decreases with each generation. More and more daughters are supporting their parents in their old age, and every now and again we hear of old couples living in their daughters home. This leads to a happy old age, as they pass their time with grand children, a loving daughter and a non-interfering son-in-law, and are far happier and less bitter than those living amongst constant friction with daughters-in-law. (Needless to say, this isn't always the case.)

Living with daughters is a welcome change, and if we see more of this in the future, perhaps the age of acrimonious family ties will gradually wane as clashes between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law reduce, and everyone will be happier.

Unfortunately the educated, broadminded professional is still in a minority in India, although this should change in the future as small business houses gradually die down and the age of large multinationals dawns.

As a parent, what would you rather have? Would you prefer a son or a daughter? Ideally, you'd like to have one of each, but given a choice of opting for just one sex, which one would it be? And why? Or perhaps sex doesn't matter to you. Think about it, and share your thoughts.

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Santosh.3 years ago
For this generation, it does not matter, whether it is boy or girl. But it is disheartening to see that for parents of this generation, it still matters that boy is much higher than girl. When it comes to inheritance, if parents make a Will, major share goes to son, and if will is not made, daughters are forced to relinquish their shares in favor of brothers. If girls propose that sons and daughters are equal, daughters are labelled that they are greedy. What do you say?
Nishita.4 years ago
Nice Article
NeverBurnDecompose.6 years ago
Now that AISHWARYA RAI has a Daughter, will she WELCOME a second daughter ?
SK.9 years ago
To Shilpi - I agree with your comments but would like to add that even daughters have the right and in fact it is their DUTY to look after their parents in their old age. That duty does not rest with the son alone, a daughter is equally responsible and is as duty driven as a boy is!
.9 years ago
i wud like to add to my earlier msg.. i do get fearful when i think of girls getting married away and compromising adjusting sometimes suffering much more
.. its probably the reason why in india.. males are preferred. scenario has changed .. one can rise against.. yet a girl normally compromises more. I feel sad when i think that way.. but again - every person - has his/her destiny. we can give them gud educn and when they have grown up , help them if reqd. But finally each one has his own destiny we cant change it. Lets just give them the ability and wishes immaterial of sex.
shilpi.9 years ago
A child is a child.. girl or boy .. how does it matter!They both need same care,love and affection. However, Once the child grows up.. girl normally
gets married and lives with her husband. The issue becomes who takes care of the old parents... In case of boys, they too get married and .. mostly, then starts -the constant scuffle btwn inlaws and daughterinlaw.. that
continues till the very end...

In case, the boy lives in another house, scuffle may not exist but again - who takes care -becomes the Q? So ultimately .. if the parents can take care of their old age - then its really immaterial whether u have a girl
or a boy. Socially , in India - boys are preferred - probably 1.)coz they marry and get dowry home 2.) coz they can stay with parents as per society 3.) coz they are supposed to give agni etc 4.) coz they give a sense of
protection(late nights are not really a problem etc) 5.) THEY CARRY THE FAMILY NAME FORWARD

Boys are probably a boon for the practical materialstic world.. WHEREAS
Girls understand the smallest tear of a mother .. she is a blessing .. her voice sounds like the cuckoo .. she provides happiness to the soul...

i have a daughter and she is the world to me. I am a very happy mother.. she showers the love - no one else can!

A son or a daughter should not really matter much. pink or blue - all colours look beautiful! Its our mindset which needs to be clear.
sspg.9 years ago
doesn't matter
sweet mom.9 years ago
i have a son and a daughter.till now i never differntiated them.because i had the same pain and happiness being pregnant and delivering mom or my mil also never differntiated between their sons and daughters.
amma.9 years ago
i love my kids equaly.i just want them to grow up as good human being.i will never differentiate them.
Mum.9 years ago
i have only one sone , a boy and say that i am proud to be his mum . i would have treated him no differently if he was a girl .
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