Would you like to have a daughter or a son? What would be your reasons for preferring one sex over another? Think about it and hop aboard to share your views.
Ask an urban, educated professional parent-to-be whether he wants a boy or a girl. Pat comes the reply - "A girl!" There seems to be a shift in our attitudes towards the girl child, at least amongst the educated elite. While a boy was the preferred child a few generations ago, parents these days long for the love and caring a daughter showers them with.
Money
There was a time when parents would want sons as they wanted someone to look after and support them in their old age. But these days, professionals earn well, and make it a point to plan for their retirement, so they are not dependent on their children for financial support. Emotional love and support of course can be provided by either son or daughter.
Sons and daughters can both earn very well, and it is getting increasingly common for the wife to make more money than her husband. Of course, the reason we don't see even more of this is because a wife who is doing well in her career often has the option to marry someone who is doing even better than she is!
Love
A few generations ago, parents wouldn't eat in the homes of their daughters and would make it a point to shell out a few rupees if they had so much as a sip in their daughters home. Thankfully, such traditions are slowly changing, and while many parents of married daughters still adhere to this, chances of this tradition continuing decreases with each generation. More and more daughters are supporting their parents in their old age, and every now and again we hear of old couples living in their daughters home. This leads to a happy old age, as they pass their time with grand children, a loving daughter and a non-interfering son-in-law, and are far happier and less bitter than those living amongst constant friction with daughters-in-law. (Needless to say, this isn't always the case.)
Living with daughters is a welcome change, and if we see more of this in the future, perhaps the age of acrimonious family ties will gradually wane as clashes between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law reduce, and everyone will be happier.
Unfortunately the educated, broadminded professional is still in a minority in India, although this should change in the future as small business houses gradually die down and the age of large multinationals dawns.
As a parent, what would you rather have? Would you prefer a son or a daughter? Ideally, you'd like to have one of each, but given a choice of opting for just one sex, which one would it be? And why? Or perhaps sex doesn't matter to you. Think about it, and share your thoughts.
Name:
SK
Country: India
To Shilpi - I agree with your comments but would like to add that even daughters have the right and in fact it is their DUTY to look after their parents in their old age. That duty does not rest with the son alone, a daughter is equally responsible and is as duty driven as a boy is!
Name:
shilpi.jhawar
Country: India
i wud like to add to my earlier msg.. i do get fearful when i think of girls getting married away and compromising adjusting sometimes suffering much more
.. its probably the reason why in india.. males are preferred. scenario has changed .. one can rise against.. yet a girl normally compromises more. I feel sad when i think that way.. but again - every person - has his/her destiny. we can give them gud educn and when they have grown up , help them if reqd. But finally each one has his own destiny we cant change it. Lets just give them the ability and wishes immaterial of sex.
Name:
shilpi
Country: India
A child is a child.. girl or boy .. how does it matter!They both need same care,love and affection. However, Once the child grows up.. girl normally
gets married and lives with her husband. The issue becomes who takes care of the old parents... In case of boys, they too get married and .. mostly, then starts -the constant scuffle btwn inlaws and daughterinlaw.. that
continues till the very end...
In case, the boy lives in another house, scuffle may not exist but again - who takes care -becomes the Q? So ultimately .. if the parents can take care of their old age - then its really immaterial whether u have a girl
or a boy. Socially , in India - boys are preferred - probably 1.)coz they marry and get dowry home 2.) coz they can stay with parents as per society 3.) coz they are supposed to give agni etc 4.) coz they give a sense of
protection(late nights are not really a problem etc) 5.) THEY CARRY THE FAMILY NAME FORWARD
Boys are probably a boon for the practical materialstic world.. WHEREAS
Girls understand the smallest tear of a mother .. she is a blessing .. her voice sounds like the cuckoo .. she provides happiness to the soul...
i have a daughter and she is the world to me. I am a very happy mother.. she showers the love - no one else can!
A son or a daughter should not really matter much. pink or blue - all colours look beautiful! Its our mindset which needs to be clear.
Name:
gk
Country: India
i always prefer a girl over boy. because they are more caring, understanding by nature. a mother can share lot of things with a girl rather than with a boy
Name:
shilpa
Country: United Kingdom
i have 2 sons. i am a very proud parent.
but i always wanted a girl. but it
does not matter. i am very happy now.
Name:
savitha
Country: Oman
how does it matter? kids r kids n will always be loved by parents whether boy or girl:-/
Name:
Mum
Country: U.S.A.
i have only one sone , a boy and say that i am proud to be his mum . i would have treated him no differently if he was a girl .
Name:
amma
Country: India
i love my kids equaly.i just want them to grow up as good human being.i will never differentiate them.
Name:
sweet mom
Country: U.S.A.
i have a son and a daughter.till now i never differntiated them.because i had the same pain and happiness being pregnant and delivering them.my mom or my mil also never differntiated between their sons and daughters.
Name:
Sneha
Country: U.A.E.
i have a daughter aged 4. i am the most luckiest and the happiest mom!!! daughters share a special bond with their mother!!
Name:
sweet mom
Country: U.S.A.
to maria from india.what is wrong in savitha from oman's statement?please clarify.
Name:
geana
Country: U.S.A.
i have always wanted a daughter of my own , to dress her pretty and grow her hair in curls, and later to have a mom * daughter relationship, but i have two sons ages 15 & 5 and they are handsome and very smart and we have bonded like i never thought possible!!.it depends on how you raise them!!
Name:
maira
Country: India
to savitha from oman,
please dont make such random statements, u are only displaying your lack of knowledge and understanding of what is going on in the world today.
Name:
painful heart
Country: India
i have only one daughter and i loved her a lot and shared a special bond with her but since threeyears i talk to her only once a month
her inlaws and husband doesnt want her to have any relation ship with us,she has visited us only twice
i was one among you but now i know yy this world wants son ..i wish i had one
Name:
shobha
Country: U.S.A.
to painful heart,india. is it a love marriage or something else issue. your daugher should stand up, she can take help of her husband. if he is not supporting then she should be firm. on phone she can definitely talk. if that is not the case then please visit her place and check if everything is ok. even if she is not allowed to talk but if she is happy then you will be realxed.
Name:
ad
Country: India
i am mother to my only little son,who has brought so much of happiness to both of us, child is a child whether its boy or girl. it all depends on how well they are raised.
Name:
Maya
Country: India
nice topic. even i am crazy about a baby girl . i love them so much . i have a son but my craving for a baby girl can not be expressed in words.
maya
Name:
painful heart
Country: India
my daughter is a software engineer her husband is also .
she can stand for her self but this will cost her her marriage and no parent would want to be the cause of daughters divorce ,her inlaws side has insecurity that may be she will be close to us as we have no other kids .
one more thing ...here i see people who already have son to be craving for daughters but ask those who have 2 or more daughters and who are in our age
it take a life long experience to reaslise this bitter truth
Name:
Nick
Country: United Kingdom
this debate demeans us all.
one couple may, even spend millions to, get a boy. when he grows up, the parent will need a girl for him to marry.
boys and girls are needed in exactly equal measure.
those who show a preference do so out of ignorance of facts.
Name:
pl
Country: India
message is for a painful heart. the situation which you described may not be true in all cases. even if you have sons they may go behind their wife and can stop complete communication to parents. so having a boy will definitely solve this problem. there are many girls nowadays who looks after their parents even though they are married or may be staying in joint family. so please do not make your heart painful. leave the life to its fullest...
Name:
Zohra
Country: South Africa
in today's time i don't think it really matters whether you have a son or a daughter. the time to enjoy kids is while they are growing up in your house. once they leave home for further studies or get married they are independent individuals and live their own life. so we must enjoy our children every day of our lives and spend quality time with them...not worry about their gender.
Name:
Navanit
Country: Canada
a child is always a piece of his/her parent's heart. you feel the same happiness when these little miracles smile and you feel the same pain when they are hurt.
i don't think one should prefer one over other. shame on those who say they wanted a boy over a girl just because they feel they are better placed in society if they have a boy.i guess this preference is because of the society and illiteracy primarily is to be blamed. because as they say daughters have to leave home when they get married and sons are supposed to look after their parents. but tell me how many sons today live with their parents. don't sons move out today to get better jobs. well my husband did. may be thats why when ever i asked him if he wants a girl or boy, he said, "it doestn't matter. they both will move out of the house one day and we will be left to take care of each other. so when they will leave us one day why crave for one more than other. i just want my kid to be healthy and smart." don't you feel the same way.
Name:
adithi
Country: France
i have a 2 and a half yr old son. i am pregnant and i cant tell u how much i have been wishing for a girl. of course like so many of u have said, it doesnt really matter... but i have found out the gender, and its a boy again... since the day i knew, i havent been able to stop crying. my son is really an angel, hes adorable, so i know that boys can be fun as well, but somehow the disappointment just doesnt leave me... has anyone been thru this before?
Name:
ranju
Country: India
yes i do agree that doters r the most lovable ones.i have 3 lovely grown up doter. they take good care of our family. no regrets.my eldest one is expecting a baby this month. i am praying to god for a lovely grand daughter.
Name:
fori
Country: Switzerland
i have a daughter and i was crazy about having a baby girl. we fight like freinds, she means so much to me and my husband. i just didnt want to go for a second child. but people say that its for ur first child. they will feel alone , so u should go for second child. and i m worried that if i have a son..definately we will love him and raise him equally. but will there be love between the brother and sister. as, sister-sister are always close to eachother. but hardly i have seen the same closeness and love when they get older and married.
usually bro-sis fight with each other over silly things all the time. so i m just wondering, whether i should go for a second child and take a chance....?
