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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Social Relationships in Children > When Children are Cruel

When Children are Cruel

Children can be very cruel, so if your child gets heckled often at school to the extent that he finds it disturbing, try to help.

Many children come home and complain to their parents that their friends tease them. Most parents simply turn a deaf ear and tell their children to be strong and ignore the teasing.

However, what parents don't realize is that children can be very cruel. Their teasing can be very disturbing for your child, and it may even have long-term effects.

Most teasing is normal. Almost every child gets teased about something or the other, at some point or another when growing up, and this is not a cause for worry. Children are resilient, and will soon forget about it. It is only when this leg pulling doesn't seem to end or when your child is constantly being heckled about something that you need to try and help.

Why is your child being teased? 14-year-old Seema was from a fairly wealthy family, but it seemed as though her parents didn't really care much about her since her uniform was constantly dirty, her shoes were never polished and she essentially looked a mess. The result was that her classmates made fun of her mercilessly, and even went to the extent of holding their noses when she passed. She simply ignored all those who teased her, but the result was that her classmates only teased her even more, determined to see some sort of reaction. Although she didn't become depressed, she did become rebellious and ran away from home a couple of times before she turned 18. She then went through counselling and seems to be coping much better now.

However, she probably would not have gone through so much trauma if her parents had paid more attention to something as basic as the way she dresses. Not all situations can be instantly remedied by parental interference. For example, your child may have a very pronounced stammer that causes others to make fun of him, but it may take a while before you can help him overcome this. However, there are many such situations where you can help.


If your child is upset because his friends tease him, ask him why they tease him. Perhaps they tease him because he wears worn out clothes. Children often cannot tell good quality from bad, and will tease your child only because his clothes look dirty or torn. So make sure you stitch any rips regularly and keep his clothes looking new. His shoes should always be polished, his socks clean and tight around his calves, and when he steps out of the house, he should be a picture of neatness.


Some kids make fun of those that apply oil to their heads and come to school. If this is the case with your child, instead of forcing her to endure the barbs, simply make it a point to apply oil to her hair over the weekends. Let her go to school with oil-free hair, like the others. It is very, very important to a child to fit in and belong.

Remember that those children who feel as though they fit in when they are young itself, will be fairly immune to peer pressure when they reach their teens.

You may also be interested in:

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S.L..6 years ago
Really? Only information about "clothes" and "oil"? Surely kids are teased about more than just these 2 issues? My daughter is teased about her skin colour and the fact she is adopted. Any advice there? She doesn't go to school in a mess and she doesn't oil her hair.
5634.9 years ago
BILLIE.9 years ago
my child is a little overweight and i took him out of a school and placehim in another school. now he is still be teased about his weight and how he look. he doesn't have any friends, i don't kmow what to do. also i've spoke to the administratives about the children cruel remarks. i am just hoping that it doesn't have alasting effect on him
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